Istanbul: Ancient Medina Garrigues

Happy birthday to Anabel Medina Garrigues, who turned 27 today and celebrated in Istanbul.

Unfortunately the party bus isn’t the only thing that stopped today; old lady Garrigues lost to Vera Dushevina in straight sets, 61 62.

“Hey you kids, get off my lawn.”

“Whatever, grandma,” she seems to say.

Istanbul

Singles – Quarterfinals
(5) Vera Dushevina (RUS) d. (3) Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 61 62
Andrea Petkovic (GER) d. (7) Olga Govortsova (BLR) 63 63
(8) Lucie Hradecka (CZE) d. Marta Domachowska (POL) 61 57 64
Timea Bacsinszky (SUI) d. Urszula Radwanska (POL) 60 61

Doubles – Semifinals
(3) Hradecka/Voracova (CZE/CZE) d. (1) Senoglu/Shvedova (TUR/KAZ) 67(5) 64 102
(2) Goerges/Schnyder (GER/SUI) d. Klaschka/Petkovic (GER/GER) 63 61

Wait, What?

Elf PAINTS? Nose job won matches? Keo is out for the rest of the year with a knee injury? JJ and Bartoli talking smack (or possibly smack talking)? ELF PAINTS?!

That’s it, I’m never going anywhere without my laptop (and by extension all of you) ever, ever again. But how amazing was IRTTY and her posting during my absence? I’m a bit jealous, I’m not going to lie. She will be receiving a poisoned condom bouquet through the post.

So while I frantically try to get some sort of handle on what’s been going on today (and try to find the time to fix everything about this new blog which doesn’t quite work yet), enjoy this video of WTA players talking about the things they can’t leave behind. Thematic, eh?

A few observations: Alize Cornet is adorable, I love that Nadia Petrova actually eats caviar sandwiches, and what exactly are these “toys” from home that Elena Dementieva simply can’t bear to leave behind?

Elf: Now 25% More Artistic

Re: JMDP’s website (which, granted, is in Spanish):

Elf recently participated in a benefit for Unicef’s “Impact Art” project, contributing this … table? painting? thingamabob? …

 

Whatever it is, I need to buy it. Me gustan los colores, y tambien el joven tan delicioso que painted it. Unfortunately, I do not think I am endowed with the proper millionzz of cash money that is needed to purchase it.

P.S: Thanks to SA for the 2nd photo. We (aka me and my Elf photo collection) are eternally grateful

Friday Q.F. OoP: Gstaad, Umag, L.A.

Gstaad

Forgive me, but after Stan was unceremoniously chucked out by “Thomaz” (yeah, he’s got a Z at the end of his name) on Thursday, I’ve lost interest in Gstaad. And I refuse to post depressing pictures of Stan looking frustrated / angry / upset. SO THERE!

Andreas Beck (GER) v. Victor Crivoi (ROU)
Marcos Daniel (BRA) v. Florent Serra (FRA)
Thomaz Bellucci (BRA) v. Nicolas Kiefer (GER)
Igor Andreev (RUS) v. Jeremy Chardy (FRA)

Umag

Ok, this tournaments has me a little  more excited, especially since Kolya and I are online chat buddies now and all. (TTYL, Kolya! ROTFL, idk.)

Not only is Kolya still in it to win it, but so is BOSS, and an awesome-haired Argentinean (woops, that’s sort of redundant, ain’t it?) from TANDIL, Maximo Gonzalez.

Then again, Gonzalez is playing against Boss, so … ADIOS, MAXIMO! It was good while it lasted. Tell Juan Martin I said “Llamame!”

Juan Carlos Ferrero (ESP) v. Maximo Gonzales (ARG)
Andreas Seppi (ITA) v. Nicolas Massu (CHI)
Nikolay Davydenko (RUS) v. Simon Bolleli (ITA)
Jurgen Melzer (AUT) v. Ivan Ljubicic (CRO)

Los Angeles

I have two words for you: Marat. Horseface.

No, sadly, not playing eachother (yet), but they are just two mere reasons why I’m extremely thankful that I am actually able to WATCH this tournament on TV (unfortunately the ONLY tournament of these 3 that I am able to watch.)

Also, Linz’s giant man-boy, John Isner, is still in, after some healing power from Baggy. SHOUT OUT!

John Isner (USA) v. C Ball (AUS)
Dudi Sela (ISR) v. Sam Querrey (USA)
Mardy Fish (USA) v. Leonardo Mayer (ARG)
Tommy Haas (GER) v. Marat Safin (RUS)

And now for a treat.

You’re welcome.

Emoticon-ing with Kolya

OK, so NO BIG DEAL, my question wasn’t picked first or anything for Koyla’s chat today in Umag:

RMP pita: KOLYA! Congrats on your win at Hamburg, you deserved it! My question is: If you could play against any tennis player, living or dead, who would it be? GOOD LUCK & WE WILL BE CHEERING FOR YOU!
Nikolay Davydenko: Maybe Ivan Lendl..

Yeah, that crazy person who typed in all caps and spoke in onimous “we” terms was ME.

Too bad Kolya didn’t seem to care too much about that question.

Other questions were a bit stranger / evoked more hilarious responses:

Roman pita: Nikolaj congratulations to your win in Hamburg. You are a top player, when will you win a Grad Slam tournament?
Nikolay Davydenko: Never

Betting pita: why you betting on your self
Nikolay Davydenko: I never bet.

HAHAHHA — possibly my favorite question. I have no idea why they picked this question, or what it meant. Maybe the questioner meant to ask “DO you bet on yourself?” … Unknown.

Finally –
DAMIR DJ. pita: Hi man,how many beers or vodka would u drink from the trophy if you win the turnament?!;)
Nikolay Davydenko: I would start with beer and finish with Vodka

Um, seriously. I’m glad that I was trying to be professional and thoughtful with my questions while everyone else just asked whatever the hell they wanted.

Next time, no matter who’s in the chat, I’m just going to say “LOL xxx WILL YOUzz HAVE SEXEZ WIT ME??!?!?”

Image is Everything: Baggy’s Magic Hands

John Isner slid and hurt his ankle while playing against Baggy in L.A. on Wednesday … and guess who came to his rescue?

Yep, it was everyone’s fantasy knight in shining armour orange Addidas-wear, the Bagster himself.

I always love to see me some proper sportmanship, and Baggy really warmed the cockles of my heart in these photos. Look at how he’s tenderly touching John’s hand in the first photo! (Ok, I might be getting a little carried away.)

Unfortunately for Baggy, though, Isner went on to win the match, 63 76(11).

Next time, Baggy … next time.

Tuesday ATP Results: Gstaad, Umag, L.A.

Gstaad

Yeah, I need to move there. NOW.

The scoop: Stanley el Manley moves on, but recent Hamburg finalist Paul-Henri Mathieu is OUT, after a close match with Marcos Daniel of Brazil.

Chucho is also out.

Typical Chucho-ian antics

[1] S Wawrinka (SUI) d [Q] F Del Bonis (ARG) 64 75
[4] V Hanescu (ROU) d I Minar (CZE) 62 62
[5] J Chardy (FRA) d [Q] T Ascione (FRA) 63 63
[6] N Kiefer (GER) d J Acasuso (ARG) 76(5) 62
M Daniel (BRA) d [8] P Mathieu (FRA) 76(3) 76(6)
I Navarro (ESP) d [Q] F Dustov (UZB) 76(2) 46 62
J Benneteau (FRA) d [WC] S Bohli (SUI) 76(4) 75
F Serra (FRA) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 63 62
[Q] T Bellucci (BRA) d *[LL] S Lammer (SUI) 67(5) 76(5) 64

Doubles – First Round
[2] M Kohlmann (GER) / S Prieto (ARG) d [WC] A Sadecky (SUI) / R Valent (SUI) 62 75
[4] C Kas (GER) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d J Hernych (CZE) / I Minar (CZE) 61 57 10-4
L Arnold Ker (ARG) / L Friedl (CZE) d D Martin (USA) / A Motti (ITA) 64 62

I’m really cheering for Stan to win this tournament … I feel he’s earned his keep.

Umag

le Boss continues on in his quest for world domination, defeating Rochus 62 63. Unfortunately, none of my questions were picked for his “Chat” on the Umag website today. Curses.

On the Doubles side, the Djoko-bros were ousted by los Italianos, Fabio / Potito (great first names.) To make matters worse, Djo-bros received a lovely bagel in their first set … OUCH.

[4] J Melzer (AUT) d B Dabul (ARG) 63 75
[5] J Ferrero (ESP) d C Rochus (BEL) 62 63
[7] A Seppi (ITA) d [Q] J Chela (ARG) 64 26 63
F Fognini (ITA) d [8] M Zverev (GER) 26 63 64
P Cuevas (URU) d [WC] I Dodig (CRO) 63 61
F Gil (POR) d S Roitman (ARG) 75 62
P Starace (ITA) d *[LL] G Zemlja (SLO) 61 63
S Bolelli (ITA) d [Q] R Ramirez Hidalgo (ESP) 76(7) 36 60

Doubles – First Round
[1] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) d S Stakhovsky (UKR) / L Zovko (CRO) 46 75 10-5
[4] J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d D Koellerer (AUT) / C Rochus (BEL) 36 64 10-2
F Fognini (ITA) / P Starace (ITA) d [WC] M Djokovic (SRB) / N Djokovic (SRB) 60 75
P Cuevas (URU) / M Gonzalez (ARG) d [WC] I Dodig (CRO) / I Ljubicic (CRO) 64 62

Los Angeles

In one of the more anticipated matches of the night (… for me, anyway), Maratski finally came through and beat Robby Ginepri, 36 63 64. A sad early exit for Robz, especially after his victory in Indy, but as it’s Marat who won, I can’t complain too much.

Ernests, Isner, Baggy, Consumption, Querrey, and — THANKFULLY — Horseface are also through.

J Isner (USA) d [7] B Becker (GER) 76(8) 76(3)
E Gulbis (LAT) d Y Lu (TPE) 75 62
[Q] C Ball (AUS) d M Gicquel (FRA) 62 76(8)
[Q] R Sweeting (USA) d [WC] T Dent (USA) 64 26 63
[5] I Kunitsyn (RUS) d [Q] S Devvarman (IND) 75 62
M Baghdatis (CYP) d [SE] F Dancevic (CAN) 76(3) 63
[6] S Querrey (USA) d. D Istomin (UZB) 62 60
[8] M Safin (RUS) d. [SE] R Ginepri (USA) 36 63 64
L Mayer (ARG) d. [Q] J Ouanna (FRA) 62 63

Doubles – First Round
Y Lu (TPE) / D Vemic (SRB) d. [4] S Huss (AUS) / R Hutchins (GBR) 63 67(4) 10-6

Unfortunately, though, while browsing through pictures looking for photos of Horseface in action (sadly, none to report,) I came across this \/

[Young children should leave the room and the squeamish may want to shield their eyes ... ]

ARRRGHH! ANYTHING but the GIMELSTOB!

Umag: Now’s Your Chance to “LOL” with Juan Carlos!

Per their website (http://www.croatiaopen.hr/daily-news—/today.aspx) :

Chat announcement – Juan Carlos Ferrero

On Wednesday July 29^th at 5:15pm you can chat with Juan Carlos Ferrero.
Ask questions here and now!

I’m not sure what the time difference is between U.S. / U.K. / Croatia — and I’m too lazy to google it now — but I’m guessing we need to get on this ASAP to wheedle our way into the Boss’s heart FOREVER.

EDIT: Ok, evidently the UK is only 1 hour behind Croatia. In the U.S., Eastern Time is 6 hours behind, Central is 7 hours, and Pacific is 9 hours. If you’re in some other time zone, YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN!

Hilariously, the blurb on the Umag site goes on to read:

Follow our web pages, because every day you can chat with one tennis player that won a match that day. And not only with tennis players, but also with the director Slavko Rasberger, Lana Baneli, and beutiful Miss hostess.

Just in case you’re wondering (and I know you were!), this is the director:

Classy.

Querrey’s Quest Quelled, Quarry Quashed

Robby Ginepri gave Sam Querrey a proper schwanking at the Final on Sunday in Indy, defeating him 62 64.

Respect.

This will be Robby’s 2nd win in Indianapolis (his previous victory here was in 2005).

Says Robz: “When I won here in 2005 I was about in the same ranking [high 90s]. But this one has to be more special as I never really expected it … I really had no expectations but no pressure either. It’s funny how things work out.”

Funny indeed, Robby.

Querrey seemed to let his nerves get the better of him, what with 9 double faults–some at particularly important times, i.e. BREAK POINTS–and only 45% first serves (at one point in the match, he was at 38%).

This win has helped Robby move up 39 spots to no. 56 in the ATP rankings (as of Monday 27 July.)

Unfortunately, though, Robby will have to rely on his memories (and the $$$ he won) to remind him of his win, because — weirdly — the Indy tournament doesn’t give you a trophy.

See the trophy below? Yeah, it’s just for a photo-op.

What the hell, Indy?

After this photo was taken, I have a feeling that armed guards swarmed in, grabbed it, and returned it to … an undisclosed location. Perhaps THAT’S what the Samurai were here for, after all?

In other Indy news, Ernests Gulbis and Dmitry Tursonov won the Doubles trophy, beating the top seeds (and androgynously named) Ashley Fisher (AUS) / Jordan Kerr (AUS) 64 36 11-9.

Dmitry had some entertaining quotage:

on Fisher / Kerr: “They’re obviously better as a team, but when there’s a lot of firepower against you, there’s not much you can do.”

on whether he’ll continue to play doubles with Ernests: “It’s kind of like beginner’s luck in poker, so we’ll see how it goes. If we’re having success, it makes sense to continue to play.”

Excuse me, Dmitry. Does this mean you’re sick of chaperoning Ernests’ night out?

ATP Player Photos = Enough Fun to Last a Lifetime

So I have a feeling that the ATP decided that they could increase their macho level by having players take tough, manly-man photos for their bio pics. Needless to say, they’ve failed miserably, although it has provided me much entertainment. Oh, the hilarity of it all!

Some players only succeeded in looking mildly pissed off:

Some managed to look smolderingly hot.

Rawr!

And some just took it way, way too seriously.

Tyra Banks called. She wants her "fierce" look back.

Others scared the bajesus out of me.

Sorry, Nalby and/or Sex lovers, but these pictures make them look like convicted criminals who are 1 second away from beating the shit out of you.

And some need a re-take. Like NOW.

These photos make them look about 50 pounds heavier than they really are.

Some looked so unbelievably goofy that I scared by cat by laughing so uproariously.

Well, with a nickname like "Chucho", I guess I shouldn't expect much.

And some are just the cutest wittle things I’ve ever seen.

All in all, though, a scary rapist-esque picture (I’m looking at you, Nalby) is better than no picture at all.

Leonardo Mayer, supposedly

Leonardo “Horseface” Mayer– perennial no-show, professional buzz-killer, and my archnemesis — STRIKES AGAIN!