Thursday’s OOP

Tokyo

Center (from 10.30hrs)
1. Stosur/Stubbs vs. Kleybanova/Schiavone (tbc)
2. Jelena Jankovic vs. Marion Bartoli (NB 11.00hrs)
3. Hantuchova/Sugiyama vs. Medina Garrigues/Ruano Pascual
4. Iveta Benesova vs. Maria Sharapova (NB 14.30hrs)
5. Victoria Azarenka vs. Li Na (NB 17.00hrs)
6. Magdalena Rybarikova vs. Agnieszka Radwanska

Bangkok

Kuala Lumpur

OK, Stop It Now, Kuala Lumpur

Seriously, pretty much every photo that comes out of the Proton Malaysian Open (or whatever) is just cracking me up. I mean, this is how they have chosen to sum up Kolya’s 63 76(4) win over Taylor Dent:

Is it me or does Kolya look like he’s just about to nail the photographer? (With the ball, is what I mean. Obviously.) Anyway, he won. And so did a number of other people, including Gasquet, Soderling, and Youzhny.

Taking his time to make it into the winner’s circle was Gael Monfils, who beat Istomin 76(3) 76(2) and told a harrowing tale of planes, trains and automobiles. He did not, however, address the minor issue of what he’s done to his hair.

Is it me, or does he instantly look about five years younger and not in a good way?

Bangkok can’t compete, anyway, it was boring today. Horseface and Nose Job lost. That is all the news of interest.

Kuala Lumpur

Singles – Second Round
[1] N Davydenko (RUS) d [WC] T Dent (USA) 63 76(4)
[3] R Soderling (SWE) d [Q] B Evans (USA) 61 61
M Youzhny (RUS) d [WC] M Baghdatis (CYP) 62 63

Singles – First Round
[5] G Monfils (FRA) d D Istomin (UZB) 76(3) 76(2)
R Gasquet (FRA) d V Crivoi (ROU) 61 62
S Greul (GER) d C Rochus (BEL) 64 36 62

Doubles – Quarter-finals
I Kunitsyn (RUS) / J Levinsky (CZE) d [WC] R Bopanna (IND) / A Qureshi (PAK) 26 76(4) 13-11

Doubles – First Round
M Elgin (RUS) / F Moser (GER) d [2] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 64 46 10-8
[3] M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 76(6) 64
M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) d [WC] J Johansson (SWE) / Y Si (MAS) 61 57 10-3

Bangkok

Singles – Second Round
[4] V Troicki (SRB) d T Bellucci (BRA) 63 76(4)
[6] J Melzer (AUT) d [Q] M Ilhan (TUR) 64 62

Singles – First Round
K Kim (USA) d R Schuettler (GER) 64 64
M Zverev (GER) d L Mayer (ARG) 57 63 63

Doubles – First Round
F Santoro (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) d [1] T Parrott (USA) / F Polasek (SVK) 63 67(9) 10-7
E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) d [2] L Dlouhy (CZE) / D Skoch (CZE) 46 63 10-5
M Kohlmann (GER) / A Peya (AUT) d [WC] P Srichaphan (THA) / D Udomchoke (THA) 26 61 10-6
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / M Zverev (GER) d A Beck (GER) / P Petzschner (GER) 64 36 10-8

Sumo with the Wozzes

Caroline Wozniacki and Aleksandra Wozniak check out some sumo wrestling in Tokyo:

Things I’ve learned from this video: (1) Caroline apparently goes nowhere without her dad, and (2) if I spent more than five minutes in a room with Aleksandra Wozniak, I’d have to kill her. Seriously.

Tokyo: Quarterfinals Set

You know, given all the upsets, it really doesn’t look all that bad. Iveta Benesova will face Maria Sharapova after the latter defeated Alisa Kleybanova in three sets, 26 62 62.

In the bottom quarter, Magdalena Rybarikova beat Alekasandra Wozniak 16 63 63 for a well-deserved quarterfinal spot  opposite Agnieszka Radwanska, who had a good win over Andrea Petkovic, 64 36 63. I’ve never seen Petkovic play before and thought she had a lovely game, but she imploded as the finish line drew nearer and the steadier Radwanska was there to capitalise. Good stuff.

Victoria Azarenka played an absolutely excellent match to beat Lucie Safarova 75 64 and will face Li Na in the quarters after the latter beat Kateryna Bondarenko in three. More importantly, Azarenka was wearing shorts and looking fairly marvy, I thought. I can’t find a good photo, but you’re just going to have to trust me on this.

And it’ll be Jankovic-Bartoli in the fourth quarterfinal. JJ was leading Vesnina 61 30 when the latter retired, leaving JJ with some time to think.

She’d better be thinking about how to beat Bartoli, against whom she has a 3-5 H2H – with Bartoli winning their last four meetings, including at the Australian Open and Stanford 2009. But I’ve got a good feeling about this. You can do it, JJ! Put out the Pavs-beater!

A thousand murdered puppies cry out for justice.

Singles – Third Round
(7) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. Elena Vesnina (RUS) 61 30 ret. (left thigh strain)
(8) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Lucie Safarova (CZE) 75 64
(11) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. (Q) Andrea Petkovic (GER) 64 36 63
(14) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. (Q) Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 46 62 75
(15) Li Na (CHN) d. (Q) Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR) 26 75 63
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) 26 62 62
Iveta Benesova (CZE) d. (Q) Chang Kai-Chen (TPE) 75 62
Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 16 63 63

Doubles – Quarterfinals
(1) Black/Huber (ZIM/USA) d. Pennetta/Raymond (ITA/USA) 62 76(2)
Dulko/Petrova (ARG/RUS) d. Hsieh/Kops-Jones (TPE/USA) 63 46 104

Image is Everything: Oh, Bangkok. What a Difference a Year Makes

I mean, the Thailand Open, Thai boxing, I get it, it probably has to be done. And yeah, they probably couldn’t use Jo-Willy twice in two years. But to go from this …

(photo courtesy of Forty Deuce)

To this, in the space of just twelve months …

You get where I’m going with this.

I mean, kudos for getting Gilles in there.

But the others …

Nobody wants to see this.

Nobody.

See how they all look better with their shirts on? There’s a reason for that.

(Also, I love how Gilles is the only one not doing the hands-in-lap shielding. Bet you there’s a reason for that, too.)

The Withdrawal Method: Murray Out of Tokyo

No glory in Tokyo yo Tokyo for Andy Murray this year; he’s been forced to withdraw to give his wrist injury more time to heal.

I’m not even going to make a joke about wanking. That’s how dispiriting I find this news.

Don’t Look Now, But I Think There’s a Metaphor Behind You

Some of the photos coming out of the Proton Malaysia Open or whatever it’s called are really cracking me up.

To wit:

This is how you make top tennis players feel inadequate.

Unless they’re Verdasco.

Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur: We Have a Pimback On Our Hands

Now everybody’s bloody doing it. Joachim Johansson played his first ATP tour-level match for nearly a year and he only went and knocked out eighth seed Lleyton Hewitt in straight sets. Madness. Other nuttiness included Feliciano Lopez falling to Martin Vassallo Arguello of Argentina in a result that made me all warm and fuzzy inside, and David Ferrer losing to Mikhail Youzhny. Youzhny attributed his victory to being used to the conditions. Hmmm. Maybe Ferru just wanted to get the hell out of there before they could make him wear one of those shirts. Oh, and Berdych won.

In Bangkok, more madness as the boy(s) least likely to actually won a match …

… but Marcos Daniel lost. Boo to you, Jurgen Melzer.

Bangkok

Singles – First Round
M Safin (RUS) d [5] P Petzschner (GER) 62 36 61
[6] J Melzer (AUT) d M Daniel (BRA) 63 62
E Korolev (RUS) d [7] F Santoro (FRA) 46 76(4) 76(7) – Saved 2 M.P.
[Q] M Ilhan (TUR) d B Becker (GER) 46 76(4) 63
A Beck (GER) d [Q] E Roger-Vasselin (FRA) 75 76(1)
[Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 63 63
E Gulbis (LAT) d [WC] S Devvarman (IND) 76(7) 62
R Ginepri (USA) d [WC] D Udomchoke (THA) 64 63

Doubles – First Round
[3] J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d T Bellucci (BRA) / M Daniel (BRA) 75 57 10-2
R Hutchins (GBR) / H Tecau (ROU) d C Kas (GER) / V Troicki (SRB) 46 63 10-5

Kuala Lumpur

Singles – First Round
[6] T Berdych (CZE) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 61 36 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [7] D Ferrer (ESP) 76(3) 62
[WC] J Johansson (SWE) d [8] L Hewitt (AUS) 76(7) 63
M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 63
[Q] R Bopanna (IND) d J Acasuso (ARG) 46 63 64
K Beck (SVK) d [Q] M Kukushkin (KAZ) 16 76(4) 63

Doubles – First Round
[1] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d J Cerretani (USA) / R Wassen (NED) 75 75
I Kunitsyn (RUS) / J Levinsky (CZE) d K Beck (SVK) / J Kerr (AUS) 62 64
A Golubev (KAZ) / D Istomin (UZB) d J Acasuso (ARG) / F Gonzalez (CHI) 63 61

Tokyo: The Decimation Continues

Maybe it’s the time of year or maybe it’s the time of woman, but top seeds continue to fall in Tokyo like nobody’s business. Third seed Elena Dementieva lost to qualifier Kateryna Bondarenko, 62 67(3) 61. I have no idea what’s up with Demmy, but that’s a good win for Bondarenko, putting together a little something after her great run to the U.S. Open quarters. Like it.

Fourth seed Caroline Wozniacki, usually Miss Consistency, retired 50 down to Aleksandra Wozniak with ‘viral illness’. I hope she’s OK, but after all the tennis she’s played this year it wouldn’t be the biggest surprise if she was a little run down.

And sixth seed Vera Zvonareva went down to Alisa Kleybanova. I saw the first set in a somewhat drunken fashion and assumed Vera would win easily, but somehow she ended up on the wrong end of a 36 64 62 score.

 

Oh, and thirteenth seed Nadia Petrova lost to Magdalena Rybarikova. Keeping the ship afloat? Eighth seed Victoria Azarenka, who knocked out Zheng Jie 61 61, and seventh seed JJ – sadly at Licky’s expense.

 

Also seeded and still alive are Agnieszka Radwanska (d. Hantuchova), Marion Bartoli (d. Rezai), and Li Na (d. Dushevina). And Maria Sharapova knocked out twelfth seed Sam Stosur in a highly dominating performance I don’t quite know where to file …

Shazza-JJ final, anybody?

Singles – Second Round
(Q) Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR) d. (3) Elena Dementieva (RUS) 62 67(3) 61
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (4) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) 50 ret. (viral illness)
Alisa Kleybanova (RUS) d. (6) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) 36 64 62
(7) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. Sabine Lisicki (GER) 63 46 62
(8) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Zheng Jie (CHN) 61 61
(11) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) d. Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 63 36 63
Maria Sharapova (RUS) d. (12) Samantha Stosur (AUS) 60 61
Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. (13) Nadia Petrova (RUS) 62 62
(14) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. Aravane Rezai (FRA) 64 62
(15) Li Na (CHN) d. Vera Dushevina (RUS) 75 60
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. Roberta Vinci (ITA) 61 76(6)
Iveta Benesova (CZE) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 63 36 64
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Peng Shuai (CHN) 63 46 64

Doubles – First Round
(2) Medina Garrigues/Ruano Pascual (ESP/ESP) d. Dushevina/Makarova (RUS/RUS) 36 75 106
Kirilenko/Vesnina (RUS/RUS) d. Groenefeld/Schnyder (GER/SUI) 64 75
Dulko/Petrova (ARG/RUS) d. (WC) Chan/Date Krumm (TPE/JPN) 75 36 107

Suspended due to rain
Kleybanova/Schiavone (RUS/ITA) lead (3) Stosur/Stubbs (AUS/AUS) 62 21

Image is Everything: Introducing Jonathan Ross’ New House Band

I am literally *crying* with laughter right now.

It’s the way ‘Nando’ has his tucked in that makes it art.

Excuse me. I need to go lie down in a darkened room and laugh it out for a bit. I hear it’s good for the abs.