Whatever You Need To Tell Yourself

Mario Ancic recently lost after leading 5-0 40-0 in the final set against Ivan Dodig. Ivan Dodig.

Impossible may be nothing, but mono is kind of everything.

Stuttgart: What the Actual Fuck, Vika?

After beating expert clay-courter and Fed Cup heroine Flavia Pennetta 61 61 in the first round, Victoria Azarenka then lost 63 63 to Anna Lapushchenkova, a player who even obsessive tennis fans have generally never heard of.

There is basically no excuse.

Stuttgart: And She’s Back In The Game!

Dinara Safina played her first match today since the Australian Open, a 76(5) 36 60 victory over Agnes Szavay.

Seems like old times …

Rome: It Was Fun While It Lasted

We lost Andy Murray today to David Ferrer, who ended the Tim’s sudden resurgence as an actual tennis player in two sets, 63 64. Sad … but at least he looked vaguely like himself again in this tournament. The losses in Indian Wells and Miami simply do not compare. There’s some hope.

Congratulations to Ferru though on a rare big scalp. That loss in Barcelona had to be agonising, but he did what he does and kept on keeping on. If there’s a greater argument for what heart, determination and stamina can achieve in the modern game than David Ferrer, I don’t want to know about.

Well, perhaps I do, but only so that I can be suitably impressed.

Put In a Word for Delpo’s Wrist, Won’t You?

So, you’re in Rome. And you’ve already lost. As a result, you’ve got a bit of time on your hands. What do you do? What any red-blooded young man worth his salt would do. You go to see this guy.

Andreas Seppi, Jeremy Chardy and Leander Paes popped along to visit with God for a bit, not having anything more pressing to do.

They even took their girlfriends along. Because nothing’s more romantic than an audience with Benedict XVI.

Stuttgart, Fes: Wednesday’s Results, Thursday’s OOP

Wow. Give it up for Li Na, who defeated defending champion Svetlana Kuznetsova, and Shahar Peer, who took out Agnieszka Radwanska in Stuttgart today.

In other news, JJ had a routine win and Victoria Azarenka beat Flavia Pennetta 61 64. Not sure what’s the biggest upset there.

Results

Stuttgart

Singles – Second Round
Li Na (CHN) d. (3) Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS) 63 75
Shahar Peer (ISR) d. (5) Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) 63 67(4) 62

Singles – First Round
(4) Jelena Jankovic (SRB) d. Gisela Dulko (ARG) 62 62
(6) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 64
(7/WC) Samantha Stosur (AUS) d. Marion Bartoli (FRA) 62 61
(8) Yanina Wickmayer (BEL) d. Francesca Schiavone (ITA) 63 63
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (Q) Selima Sfar (TUN) 26 30 ret. (right ankle injury)
(WC) Justine Henin (BEL) d. (WC) Julia Goerges (GER) 76(3) 61

Doubles – First Round
(2) Peschke/Srebotnik (CZE/SLO) d. Jans/Uhlirova (POL/CZE) 64 75
Huber/Jankovic (USA/SRB) d. Marosi/Scheepers (HUN/RSA) 26 63 107

Fes

Singles – Second Round
Anne Keothavong (GBR) d. (1) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) 56 ret. (right ankle sprain)
(2) Patty Schnyder (SUI) d. Ioana Raluca Olaru (ROU) 63 36 62
(Q) Laura Pous Tio (ESP) d. (3) Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 63 62
(5) Angelique Kerber (GER) d. Bojana Jovanovski (SRB) 62 62
(7) Iveta Benesova (CZE) d. (Q) Claire de Gubernatis (FRA) 62 64
Alizé Cornet (FRA) d. Arantxa Parra Santonja (ESP) 62 62
Renata Voracova (CZE) d. Katie O’Brien (GBR) 60 75
(Q) Simona Halep (ROU) d. Olga Savchuk (UKR) 63 61

Doubles – First Round
(2) Hradecka/Voracova (CZE/CZE) d. Kerber/Védy (GER/FRA) 63 64
(4) Czink/Parra Santonja (HUN/ESP) d. Kosinska/Thorpe (POL/FRA) 60 61
Cabeza Candela/Pous Tio (ESP/ESP) d. Bovina/Klepac (RUS/SLO) 46 75 106

OOP

Stuttgart

Center Court (from 14.00hrs)
1. Caroline Wozniacki vs. Lucie Safarova
2. Tsvetana Pironkova vs. Jelena Jankovic (NB 15.45hrs)
3. Yanina Wickmayer vs. Justine Henin (NB 18.20hrs)
4. Agnes Szavay vs. Dinara Safina (NB 20.15hrs)
5. Goerges/Woehr vs. Govortsova/Rosolska

Court 1 (from 13.00hrs)
1. Alexandra Dulgheru vs. Samantha Stosur
2. Anna Lapushchenkova vs. Victoria Azarenka
3. Dulko/Pennetta vs. Huber/Jankovic (NB 17.00hrs; after suitable rest)

Fes

Center Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Laura Pous Tio vs. Iveta Benesova
2. Anne Keothavong vs. Alizé Cornet
3. Simona Halep vs. Patty Schnyder
4. Coin/Cornet vs. O’Brien/Olaru

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Angelique Kerber vs. Renata Voracova
2. Cabeza Candela/Pous Tio vs. Hradecka/Voracova (after suitable rest)

Court 5 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Manasieva/Zakopalova vs. Czink/Parra Santonja
2. Benesova/Medina Garrigues vs. Groth/Keothavong (after suitable rest)

Rome: Wednesday’s Results, Thursday’s OOP

Routine day in Rome today. Even the upsets were a bit predictable. As Drew Lilley called it, Lopez and Wawrinka both scored victories in three sets over Marin Cilic and Tomas Berdych respectively.

It happens.

Lopez’s quarter of the draw is now missing the top two seeds; Wawrinka isn’t so lucky, because he’s uncomfortably adjacent to Robin Soderling, a straight sets victor today, and this guy. Ditto.

Elsewhere Nose Job had an excellent win over fourteenth seed John Isner, and Filippo Volandri continues his quest to prove he’s relevant in the world by beating Benneteau to make the third round.

Results

Singles – Second Round
[3] R Nadal (ESP) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 61 63
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d [WC] P Lorenzi (ITA) 61 75
[6] F Verdasco (ESP) d [WC] S Bolelli (ITA) 76(11) 63
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) d V Troicki (SRB) 62 63
F Lopez (ESP) d [8] M Cilic (CRO) 26 76(2) 64
S Wawrinka (SUI) d [10] T Berdych (CZE) 26 63 76(6)
[11] I Ljubicic (CRO) d N Almagro (ESP) 75 76(3)
[13] D Ferrer (ESP) d [WC] P Starace (ITA) 75 62
T Bellucci (BRA) d [14] J Isner (USA) 76(7) 75
[WC] F Volandri (ITA) d J Benneteau (FRA) 62 60
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d L Hewitt (AUS) 62 63
[Q] S Giraldo (COL) d [Q] M Llodra (FRA) 63 62

Doubles – Second Round
P Cuevas (URU) / J Monaco (ARG) d [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) 62 76(4)
[2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 64 61
[WC] Y Allegro (SUI) / R Federer (SUI) d [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 46 63 10-8

Thursday’s OOP is brought to you by the only thing that’s even coming close to cheering me up right now.

OOP

Into the West. Or, I Give Up.

Did you have hope? You’re going to want to stop that. James LaRosa is reporting via twitter that Delpo probably won’t be able to play Madrid and that Roland Garros is highly doubtful.

I’m not saying it’s true, although it probably is. I’m not even saying that the fact that he can’t practice properly without needing to cross borders to get a(nother) specialist medical consultation is any reason to despair. I’m just saying – there was an Elf. And now there isn’t.

That is all.

Standing With Scissors

Roger and Raf a took part in the inauguration ceremony for the new centre court in Rome today, and at least one of them was rocking some very unfortunate hair:

Meh. Give me dressed-down, chilled-out, Nole-bromancing Rafa any day.

Rome: Tuesday’s Results, Wednesday’s OOP

While Murray stunned the nation by winning a match and some other guy lost, Novak Djokovic’s crushing win over Jeremy Chardy went somewhat unnoticed, but win he did, 61 61. In encouraging news, his serve looked particularly good.

Juan Monaco, meanwhile, suffered another disappointing defeat, going down in straights to Victor Hanescu. I don’t know how much the wrist is bothering him, but his results certainly don’t seem to justify postponing the surgery.

Obligatory disbelieving look over the net.

I’ll bet that some martyred, long-suffering pleading with the umpire was involved as well.

The unseeded Wawrinka and Lopez both had thorough straight sets wins and were apparently looking very good, while Nose Job prevailed over Horseface and Lleyton Hewitt had a tough win over Mikhail Youzhny in three.

David Ferrer beat Evgeny Korolev to face Andy Murray in the second round, and last week’s girl Thiemo de Bakker was forced to retire in the third set against Viktor Troicki.

Results

Singles – Second Round
E Gulbis (LAT) d [1] R Federer (SUI) 26 61 75
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d J Chardy (FRA) 61 61
[4] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 62 64
V Hanescu (ROU) d [16] J Monaco (ARG) 76(4) 64

Singles – First Round
L Hewitt (AUS) d [9] M Youzhny (RUS) 64 46 63
[13] D Ferrer (ESP) vs E Korolev (KAZ)
N Almagro (ESP) d L Kubot (POL) 67(3) 62 63
S Wawrinka (SUI) d J Melzer (AUT) 61 62
F Lopez (ESP) d B Becker (GER) 64 63
V Troicki (SRB) d T de Bakker (NED) 36 61 10 ret. (groin)
T Bellucci (BRA) vs [Q] L Mayer (ARG)
[WC] S Bolelli (ITA) d [LL] S Greul (GER) 64 61

Doubles – First Round
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / A Montanes (ESP) vs M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL)
I Ljubicic (CRO) / M Llodra (FRA) d J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR) 64 63
P Cuevas (URU) / J Monaco (ARG) d J Benneteau (FRA) / J Chardy (FRA) 36 75 10-8
J Isner (USA) / S Querrey (USA) d J Tsonga (FRA) / S Wawrinka (SUI) 46 62 10-7
[WC] S Bolelli (ITA) / P Starace (ITA) d I Andreev (RUS) / M Youzhny (RUS) 64 62
N Almagro (ESP) / M Granollers (ESP) d F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) 62 76(3)

Wednesday’s OOP is brought to you by the seductive pout of Jeremy Chardy.

CAMPO CENTRALE start 1:00 pm
[WC] P Lorenzi (ITA) vs [5] R Soderling (SWE)
[3] R Nadal (ESP) vs P Kohlschreiber (GER)
[6] F Verdasco (ESP) vs [WC] S Bolelli (ITA)

Non prima delle 20:30
[13] D Ferrer (ESP) or E Korolev (KAZ) vs [WC] P Starace (ITA)
F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) vs [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA)

PIETRANGELI 13:00
[WC] F Volandri (ITA) vs J Benneteau (FRA)
[10] T Berdych (CZE) vs S Wawrinka (SUI)
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) vs V Troicki (SRB)
F Lopez (ESP) vs [8] M Cilic (CRO)

CAMPO 5 Inizio 13:00
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) vs L Hewitt (AUS)
[WC] Y Allegro (SUI) / R Federer (SUI) vs [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS)
[14] J Isner (USA) vs T Bellucci (BRA) or [Q] L Mayer (ARG)

CAMPO 6 Inizio 13:00
[Q] M Llodra (FRA) vs [Q] S Giraldo (COL)

Non prima delle 15:00
[11] I Ljubicic (CRO) vs N Almagro (ESP)
[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) vs P Cuevas (URU) / J Monaco (ARG) or J Benneteau (FRA) / J Chardy (FRA) – To Be Arranged