It’s That Time Again.

It might be because I’m a bitter, cynical, emotionally drained miserable shell of a facsimile of a sham of a human being, but I’m just not that interested in Indian Wells. It’s in the middle of a desert, I don’t get to go, and apart from that it’s your bog-standard Masters. And, like, Ivan Ljubicic won it last year. I’m just saying. Anyway, it’s started.

You can find the men’s draw here and the women’s draw here, I am mind-boggled by the complexity and can’t wait for someone to start televising the bloody thing (why is it only American Masters’ series events that aren’t televised from day one?) so I can have some opinions. So far the biggest news seems to be that Melanie Oudin has won a match, against Elena Vesnina no less.

Shit gets real later tonight when Delpo will play Steps in a tough first-round encounter for either of them. Full OOP here.

Fed Cup: The Green/Blue/Red Grass/Hard/Clay of Home

Italy will face the US in a repeat of last year’s Fed Cup final after the doubles pairing of Liezel Huber and Bethanie Mattek-Sands won the deciding rubber against Russia’s Elena Dementieva and Alla Kudryavtseva.

USA 3 – Russia 2

A well-deserved flag-bearing role for Bethanie Mattek-Sands. Heading into Sunday, the tie was poised 1-1 with Melanie Oudin and Elena Dementieva winning in straights on the opening day. But Demmy once again proved her Fed Cup credentials by recovering from a bizarre second-set bagel to take the match 63 in the third.

Fed Cup singles debutante Ekaterina Makarova was unable to close out the tie, however, falling to Mattek-Sands in a three-set defeat that left her in tears.

The devastated Makarova was benched for the doubles in favour of Alla Kudryavtseva and the gamble did not pay off, with the Russians never really in the match that Mattek-Sands and Huber won comfortably, 63 61, to kick off the celebrations in Alabama.

Congratulations indeed. Russia may not exactly have fielded their strongest team, but given the continuing and high-profile absences from the American team, it speaks volumes for their camaraderie and commitment that they’ve made their second Fed Cup final in as many years.

Unfortunately, unless something drastic changes, it’s hard to see the final going differently this time than it did in 2009. Admittedly the US will be the hosts and have a choice of surface, but it’s hard to see hard courts as disadvantaging the Italians, and Schiavone at least is no slouch on grass. And the final is right after the year-end championships, so those high-profile absences are probably set to continue. Basically I’m saying we can expect to see more of this:

And why not? Love those two.

Charleston: Where Everybody Looks Good

I don’t know if it’s the photography (good job, Chris Smith!) or the light or the food or what, but how lovely are these off-court pictures from the Family Circle Cup?

JJ actually looks like she’s having genuine chilled fun.

A Vera sandwich.

(That’s Galina Voskoboeva in the middle, by the way. I’m sure you know that … but I had to look it up.)

Dani’s always lovely, but how often does she look relaxed?

Yes, that is Alona Bondarenko. Looking normal. Looking pleasant. Smiling.

Mallory and Melanie.

I have just realised how pretty Nadia is.

So I think we need to ask ourselves … is Charleston the friendliest, most laid-back tournament on tour, or just the one that serves the most booze with lunch?

Either way, it’s working.

Casablanca et al: Thursday’s Results, Friday’s OOP

The (mildly hilarious) shock of the day has to be Kim Clijsters losing to 258th-ranked Spanish qualifier Beatriz Garcia Vidagany, who is playing her first WTA tour tournament ever – so that consistency thing remains a work in progress, eh, Kim? Simona Halep had another good win, this time over the slumping Sorana Cirstea, and lucky loser Varvara Lepchenko is making the best of things in Ponte Vedra Beach. On the men’s side, Stan Wawrinka survived a bagel from a qualifier and Official NB Pick For Casablanca Champion Richard Gasquet put in another crushing win. Lleyton Hewitt was not so rusty in his first match back after hip surgery, and Zeballos and Gonzo will be playing in a frankly hot quarterfinal. That is all.

Full Results – ATP

Casablanca

Singles – Second Round
[1] S Wawrinka (SUI) d [Q] M Klizan (SVK) 64 06 64
[3] V Hanescu (ROU) d [Q] J Nieminen (FIN) 26 63 62
[WC] R El Amrani (MAR) d J Hajek (CZE) 63 26 62
R Gasquet (FRA) d A Golubev (KAZ) 61 61

Doubles – Semi-finals
[3] R Lindstedt (SWE) / H Tecau (ROU) d [2] M Granollers (ESP) / M Lopez (ESP) 64 63
R Bopanna (IND) / A Qureshi (PAK) d P Marx (GER) / I Zelenay (SVK) 63 64

Houston

Singles – Second Round
[1] F Gonzalez (CHI) d [Q] K Anderson (RSA) 64 46 64
X Malisse (BEL) d [2] J Isner (USA) 76(3) 67(7) 76(3)
[3] S Querrey (USA) d B Kavcic (SLO) 62 61
[4] [WC] L Hewitt (AUS) d [LL] S Devvarman (IND) 16 60 76(2)
[6] H Zeballos (ARG) d D Sela (ISR) 63 62
W Odesnik (USA) d M Kukushkin (KAZ) 61 75

Doubles – Semi-finals
[3] S Huss (AUS) / W Moodie (RSA) d H Zeballos (ARG) / M Zverev (GER) 63 63

Doubles – Quarter-finals
[WC] N Healey (AUS) / L Hewitt (AUS) d D Istomin (UZB) / A Motti (ITA) 64 76(5)

WTA

Marbella

Singles – Second Round
(1) Victoria Azarenka (BLR) d. (WC) Estrella Cabeza Candela (ESP) 62 64
(2) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. (Q) Laura Pous Tio (ESP) 62 62
(Q) Beatriz García Vidagany (ESP) d. (3/WC) Kim Clijsters (BEL) 75 46 64
Sara Errani (ITA) d. (7) Anabel Medina Garrigues (ESP) 61 76(1)
(8) Carla Suárez Navarro (ESP) d. Polona Hercog (SLO) 64 76(2)
(Q) Simona Halep (ROU) d. Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 64 76(4)

Doubles – Quarterfinals
Kondratieva/Shvedova (RUS/KAZ) d. Domínguez Lino/Parra Santonja (ESP/ESP) 60 64

Doubles – First Round
(2) Ruano Pascual/Shaughnessy (ESP/USA) d. Malek/Sfar (GER/TUN) 26 75 1210

Ponte Vedra Beach

Singles – Second Round
(4) Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. Julia Goerges (GER) 63 62
(8) Melanie Oudin (USA) d. Peng Shuai (CHN) 26 75 75
Olga Govortsova (BLR) d. (Q) Anna Tatishvili (GEO) 62 62
(LL) Varvara Lepchenko (USA) d. Angelique Kerber (GER) 61 61

Doubles – Quarterfinals
(1) Mattek-Sands/Yan (USA/CHN) d. (WC) Cibulkova/Morita (SVK/JPN) 62 61
Borwell/Kops-Jones (GBR/USA) d. Goerges/Zahlavova Strycova (GER/CZE) 63 36 108

Today’s OOP is brought to you by Gonzo’s poorly knee.

Casablanca

Houston

ORDER OF PLAY – APRIL 9, 2010
Stadium Court – Start 12:00 noon
Nicolas Massu (CHI) vs (3) Sam Querrey (USA)
(4) Lleyton Hewitt (AUS) vs Juan Ignacio Chela (CHI)
Wayne Odesnik (USA) vs Xavier Malisse (BEL)
Not Before 6 p.m.
(1) Bob Bryan (USA) & Mike Bryan (USA) vs Nathan Healey (AUS) & Lleyton Hewitt (AUS)
(1) Fernando Gonzalez (CHI) vs (6) Horacio Zeballos (ARG)

Marbella

Centre Court (from 13.00hrs)
1. Tatjana Malek vs. Carla Suárez Navarro
2. Simona Halep vs. Flavia Pennetta
3. Victoria Azarenka vs. María José Martínez Sánchez
4. Sara Errani vs. Beatriz García Vidagany

Court 1 (NB 13.30hrs)
1. Lefèvre/Niculescu vs. Ruano Pascual/Shaughnessy

Ponte Vedra Beach

Stadium (from 11.00hrs)
1. Varvara Lepchenko vs. Olga Govortsova
2. Elena Vesnina vs. Melanie Oudin (NB 13.00hrs)
3. Aleksandra Wozniak vs. Dominika Cibulkova (NB 15.00hrs)
4. Dekmeijere/Schnyder vs. Chuang/Peng
5. Caroline Wozniacki vs. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (NB 19.00hrs)

Like the Oscars, But More Meaningful

The 2010 Sony Ericsson WTA Player Awards were given out yesterday in Miami, with Serena picking up Player of the Year; Serena and Venus jointly taking Doubles Team/Fan Favourite Doubles Team of the Year; Kim Clijsters nabbing Comeback and Sportsmanship, Yanina Wickmayer taking Most Improved, Melanie Oudin Newcomer of the Year, and Elena Dementieva winning Fan Favourite Singles Player of the Year.

Meanwhile, Horacio Zeballos picked up the ATP award for Breakthrough of the Year, or something along those lines. I don’t know, I just like looking at his gentle eyes.

I feel like he would gently stroke your hair. For hours. Without being asked.

Who’s Out …

High-profile casualties since we last spoke:

Out to Shahar Peer in Dubai.

Out to Agnieszka Radwanska in Dubai.

Out to Venus in Dubai.

Out to Li Na in Dubai.

Forced to retire against Shahar Peer with back pain.

Out to Vera Zvonareva in Dubai.

Out to Victoria Azarenka in Dubai.

Forced to retire against Lukas Lacko in Memphis after beating Fernando Verdasco.

Lost to Sofia Arvidsson after a promising beginning to the tournament.

And … Radek Stepanek (Memphis), Fernando Verdasco (Memphis), Nicolas Almagro (Buenos Aires), Gilles Simon (Marseilles), Richard Gasquet (Buenos Aires), and probably many more I forgot to mention.

WTA Saturday: Safs On Fire, Snappers Remember Thailand Exists

Paris

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lucie Safarova. She’s beaten Paszek, Schiavone, Peer and now Flavia Pennetta, 46 63 64, to reach her second Paris final (she lost out to Nadia Petrova in 2007). From what I saw of her match against Flavia today, she was on fire.

Safs will be facing another second-time Paris finalist after Elena Dementieva beat Melanie Oudin, 46 64 63. It was a good performance from the believer, but after she wasn’t able to capture the second set, her fitness really let her down in the third and after three consecutive breaks, Dementieva won five of the last six games to take the match.

It was an encouraging tournament for Oudin, though, who moves on to Memphis next week. Elena said that it was the toughest win of the year for her so far, which is nice, considering some of the people she’s beaten. Good stuff.

Pattaya City

Photos! Finally photos!

… Put it away now, Yaroslava.

Top seed Vera Zvonareva is into the final after beating fourth seed Yaroslava Shvedova 62 46 63. She’ll face hometown girl Tamarine Tanasugarn, who defeated Sesil Karantcheva 62 60.

Good stuff.

Paris, Pattaya City: Semifinals Set

For the first time since the tournament’s inception, there won’t be a Frenchwoman in the quarterfinals in Paris. Second seed Flavia Pennetta beat compatriot Tathiana Garbin, 61 63, to book her spot and will face Lucie Safarova, who demolished sixth seed Shahar Peer 63 60. As my wise friend Jacko would no doubt point out, the fast courts in Paris are made for Safs, and you can’t deny she has oodles of talent … but why does she only show up once in a blue moon? Answers on a postcard.

 The other semifinal is a US Open rematch between Elena Dementieva and her spunky kryptonite, Melanie Oudin. Dementieva survived a tough challenge from Andrea Petkovic (now undoubtedly out getting drunk as we speak, and rightly so).

I would have given anything to be able to illustrate this result with a picture of Petkovic miming shooting herself in the head, by the way. Just putting it out there.

Melanie Oudin, meanwhile, continues her upwards momentum. She’s now won her last five matches after coming back from 26 13 down against Agnes Szavay to win 62 in the third. It was another inspiringly gutsy performance, as she was complaining of being ill during the first set and, more significantly, being comprehensively outplayed by Szavay before she clawed her way back in to the match and managed to exert just enough pressure to provide Szavay with an excuse to fall apart. By the third set, both were completely different players, and at least Melanie was moving in the right direction.

In Pattaya City meanwhile, a.k.a the Land that Photojournalists Forgot, hometown girl Tamarine Tanasugarn put an end to Anna Chakvetadze’s two-match streak and will face Sesil Karantcheva in the first semi. In the second, it’ll be Vera Zvonareva against Yaroslava Shvedova. Fair and balanced.

Full Results

Paris

Singles – Quarterfinals
(1) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. Andrea Petkovic (GER) 36 64 62
(2/WC) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Tathiana Garbin (ITA) 61 63
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. (6) Shahar Peer (ISR) 63 60
Melanie Oudin (USA) d. Agnes Szavay (HUN) 26 64 62

Doubles – Semifinals
(2) Benesova/Zahlavova Strycova (CZE/CZE) d. Govortsova/Poutchek (BLR/BLR) 63 63

Pattaya City

Singles – Quarterfinals
(1) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) d (5) Sybille Bammer (AUT) 60 76(5)
(4) Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ) d. Tatjana Malek (GER) 76(4) 61
Tamarine Tanasugarn (THA) d. Anna Chakvetadze (RUS) 61 64
Sesil Karatantcheva (KAZ) d. Ekaterina Bychkova (RUS) 75 46 75

Doubles – Semifinals
Erakovic/Tanasugarn (NZL/THA) d. (1) Rodionova/Rodionova (AUS/RUS) 61 64

Order of Play

Paris

Central (from 13.30hrs)
1. Lucie Safarova vs. Flavia Pennetta
2. Elena Dementieva vs. Melanie Oudin (NB 15.30hrs)
3. Black/Huber vs. Jans/Rosolska

Pattaya City

Court 1 (from 15.00hrs)
1. Sesil Karatantcheva vs. Tamarine Tanasugarn
2. Vera Zvonareva vs. Yaroslava Shvedova
3. Chakvetadze/Pervak vs. Craybas/Goerges

Fed Cup Did Somebody Good

In the battle of last year’s big/somewhat-a-things, Melanie Oudin pwned Sorana Cirstea 63 60 in Paris today.

This, in the trade, is known as ‘upwards momentum’ for Mel. Sorana, on the other hand, would do well not to let that sophomore slump grow too severe.

Fed Cup Sunday: Amer-”I Can”

France 1 – USA 4

Take a bow, Melanie Oudin. Having lost her last six matches (and only winning 1 since the US Open), Oudin backed up her defeat of Pauline Parmentier on Saturday by defeating Julie Coin – subbed in for the floundering Alize Cornet – 76(3) 64 to clinch the tie for the USA.

It’ll be Russia next for the Stars & Stripes. Betting now open on who from both sides will actually show up.