Tsonga and Simon in Worst Photoshoot Ever
Posted by gauloises1 on May 24, 2009
So apparently Gilles and Jo were in the French version of Men’s Health recently.
And I’m serious. This could be the worst series of photos taken of two sublimely handsome men in history. HISTORY.
For starters, that doesn’t even *look* like Gilles. Seriously, he looks like Jensen Ackles. And I ache with longing for Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester as much as the next girl, but that is a whole different conversation.
For mains, why would you put Gilles and not Jo on the cover? I love Gilles so much it hurts, don’t get me wrong. But part of the reason I think he’s so gorgeous is that he doesn’t look so much like an athlete/tennis player as much as the brooding guy in the corner chain-smoking Gitanes in some dank cafe, spilling coffee and ashing on the pages of the copy of Kierkegaard that he’s scribbling in the margins of. You know? Not a poster boy for a conventionally aspirational body, is what I’m saying.
And for dessert … “Boostez Votre Mentals”? I mean, if that means what I think it means, then why the fuck would you think Gilles knows anything about that, based on his recent results?
“Voulez-vous regardez mon etchings?”
This IS an alternative Tsonga, you’re right.
One that you’ve made bizarrely washed out and uncomfortable-looking.
Plus this IS Men’s Health, right? If ever there was a legitimate excuse to have these guys naked, or at least somewhat so, that is it. So why are you muffling up all that hottness and, let’s be frank, wank fodder in as many clothes as possible? Seriously, I’m surprised Jo’s not wearing earmuffs. And while Jo in earmuffs would be adorable, NOT THE POINT, Men’s Health.
Finally! A step in the right direction!
Still doesn’t look like Gilles, but we’re getting somewhere!
Or not so much.
Also? This is not Gilles. This is a waxwork of Gilles. It’s a subtle but crucial distinction!
Either that, or at some point since I saw him last (losing to some idiot somewhere), Gilles went dead behind the eyes. And that troubles me.
So much fail, Men’s Health. So much potential, and yet so much fail. You get given the natural bounty that is Gilles and Jo, and this is what you do with them?
You’re on my list, French Men’s Health.