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UPDATED: Oh my god, NO.

Posted by gauloises1 on September 28, 2009

The teeth. THE TEETH.

Why would he do this?! I *loved* those teeth. Those teeth won the U.S. Open.

I’m in mourning. I may have to change my blog colours to black.

UPDATE: I don’t feel like I really gave a proper feeling for the scope or tragedy of the thing. Thank god for official NB artist and Elfographer, IRTTY …


59 Responses to “UPDATED: Oh my god, NO.”

  1. irefusetotellyou said

    Por el amor de dios!


  2. naughtyT... said

    Juan Molar Dental Potro

  3. Maria said

    Yep, I saw the vid on another site and was like my goodness, hollywood chompers! I just hope he doesn’t start shaving regularly, I like hairy Elf!

  4. linz said

    I don’t think your “No” was quite long enough IRTTY =)

    Seriously though, at least he didn’t go all Hillary Duff with his new teeth. I still would not have expected this from him. Success in New York will change a person =)

  5. Maria said

    I do hope someone hasn’t been whispering in his ear saying ooo with your new cash you could do up those chompers, and hey start shaving more, and hmmm a haircut is in order. *shudders* Let this not be the beginning of a makeover….

  6. irefusetotellyou said

    If the eyebrows go … I go.

  7. irefusetotellyou said

    P.S: Yeah, Linz, my “NOOO” sort of went a bit insane.


  8. mrdarnley said

    Strange to see him smile so much. But ah he still looks awesome.

  9. linz said

    Next thing you know he’s going to start frosting his tips.

  10. Maria said

    As long as his ‘fur’ and everything else stays I think I can survive. And yeah he’s smiling a lot more, not that he didn’t before but his smiles were of the not showing the teeth variety – smiling with the lips. *realises she sounds slightly obsessed*

  11. gauloises1 said

    I liked him how he was. That’s all I’m going to say.

    As for the eyebrows, he has plucked them before, I think …

  12. Maria said

    I didn’t mind his teeth the way they were before either. Oh well, RIP US Open teeth, yeah the eyebrows should stay as they are.

  13. AmyLu said

    So apparently the Elf bought himself cheesecake and new teeth?!?

    And, as someone who has every tooth in her mouth crowned (due to lovely genetics, as in there’s a condition in which you are born without enamel…it skips generations and I was the lucky grandchild who inherited it from my grandmother), it is definitely possible to have work done on your mouth that looks NATURAL.

  14. linex said

    Hi Gauloises congrats on your blog. I learned about your new blog days before at and I entered yesterday for the first time. It is great, all your us open posts, especially those devoted to Delpo are awsome. JJ and Amylu posts on their us open experience were very interesting too.

    Now on today´s topic, I guess I was the first one of the TW regulars to learn about his teeth makeover, as I live in Bs As and got to see SG show live yesterday night. As soon as Juanma smiled I realized about this change, which was totally unnecessary unless he had some kind of disease or he missed any of the upper teeth during the last days.

    I guess it is necessary for the people who surround him to let him know that he is fine as he is, that his charm lies in his natural, naive persona.

    He said recently that he will not change with success, let us hope that his sponsors do not force him to do so.

    Franco Davin please give him advice in this respect too!! I am sure you are a reasonable person.

    Apart from the above, the interview was fun, he gets along very well with Susana, this is his third visit in total to her show since 2008. And everything ended with Susana´s promise to attend London Masters. I guess it will be a mandatory visit if she wants Juanma to return to her show because she did not comply with her promise of attending Flushing.

  15. Saoirse said

    So THAT’s what he got with his big fat US Open check?? Some Brad Pitt chompers?? So much for cheesecake. All I will say is that I am really disappointed with him. He was absolutely perfect the way he was. His smile looks so generic, run of the mill, Entertainment Tonight-sey, now … I am very sad. It’s the end on an era.

    I for one LOVE little imperfections on a man. It gives character and personality… Elf still has them in spades but.. a little less so, you know what I mean.

    And IRTTY, he did tweak the ‘Gallagheresque’ monobrow once or twice in the past… I am thinking *they* (aka horrible sponsor people) do this to him on photoshoots and stuff…

    I am very upset right now. Upset and terribly vexed. I really shouldn’t care so much…

  16. Maria said

    That tribute to his teeth is sweet. Will have to get used to him roaring with different teeth. Will the effect still be the same? Different teeth = same kind of passion. Hmm.

  17. Saoirse said

    Hadn’t seen the update before I posted… Thanks IRTTY for bringing a *slight* smile back into my face with the lovely artwork… gone but not forgotten. Indeed. They will be missed, that’s for sure.

    Come to think of it, I had the same kind of offended, pissed off, what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-this-world-we-live-in reaction when I came across a pic of good ol’ Shane MacGowan with a brand new set of gnashers earlier this year… It’s *technically* an improvement but wrong in so many ways… *Major sigh*

  18. sophienz said

    I also thought it was his teeth that added to his Elfishness. They were little and the exact kind of teeth an Elf would have. On his wee face.
    What mythical creature do his new teeth resemble?

  19. linex said

    I guess one cannot do nothing when somebody else has a complex a about one of his or her physical features. Sometimes a particular nose, imperfect teeth, a couple of wrinkles, make a certain person unique and does not diminishe his or her attractiveness or sex appeal. But if that particular person has a complex about that certain feature of his or her body or face there is nothing that one can do or tell them to make them feel better about it.

    I do not know if in Juan Martin´s case the feeling was his or of his entourage, I guess it was his, for what I know he cares about his looks. There is nothing we can do about it. As Sheryl Crows song says “if it makes you happy”.

    I hope Elf´s fan girls are still supporting him. If this is the only change he will experience it is not that dramatic. Fortunately, he is travelling to Asia tomorrow, he will feel a tennis player again, which is better for his mind. He told Susana that he will be travelling with Franco and Martiniano as usual and a good male friend of his.

  20. Maria said

    True, maybe he had been wanting to get his teeth done for a while, but JMDP you could get any girl you wanted! *le sigh*

  21. Saoirse said

    Sophie, if you can consider George Hamilton a mythical creature, you’ve got your answer.

    Vexed, vexed vexed!! 😦

  22. linex said

    I am wondering if those new teeth are removable and he plans to use them for off court activities. It must have been very painful if his original teeth were removed …I think it is unlikely that they were permanently removed.

  23. sophienz said


  24. Maria said

    I hope they weren’t permanently removed, I like to think they’re still there, lurking underneath… I have this image of Juan removing them when he sleeps and putting them in for press conferences. LOL.

  25. rulin said

    Dear god, when he smiled at the end it felt like I was watching some cheesy toothpaste commercial.

    And I love clean-shaven Juan, but not makeup’d Juan. Can’t wait to see him back on a tennis court.

  26. Mango said

    I’m with Maria on this one: “As long as his ‘fur’ and everything else stays I think I can survive.”

    If Elf goes back to his wolverine-esque ways, all will be forgiven.

  27. Saoirse said

    Do not be alarmed, people! There will be no sighting of Elf without his dentures, thank Christ the Lord… It’s called capping. His real teeth are still there, somewhere, buried underneath really expensive porcelain crowns fixed to his natural teeth.

    So now you know. About a $1,000.00 PER TOOTH if you are interested.

  28. jjermann said

    its surprising how much you know, teeths removed? there is easier way to do it, we are not living stone age anymore

    have you ever heard teeth plastic filling? if not, google will help you…

  29. Mango said

    I left my computer and had a horrifying thought: what if Nike makes Elf wear sleeves next year?

  30. Maria said

    Nooooooooooooooooooooo perish the thought! Remain sleeveless Elf, I want to see as someone called it his ‘sinewy caramel logs for arms’ fully. No obstructions whatsoever.

  31. Saoirse said

    Mango, are you telling me Nike is solely responsible for the RIP-Rafa’s-Buff-Biceps withdrawal syndrome I have beeen suffering from for the past year!?! Can they actually *do* that??

    ‘Cause I may want to sue them.

    Other than that, still pissed about those new teeth. Less capping, more fur.

  32. Maria said

    Jackpot at 3:30

  33. Shelley said

    Saorise: from what I have read…it was all Nike’s idea to add short sleeves to Rafa’s on court look! Rafa was suppose to debut the short sleeve look at last year’s USO but he was uncomfortable with the sleeves and decided to wait and debut the sleeve look at this year’s AO. I was so mad when I read an article about it. I will try and find the article but Nike said they wanted to make Rafa more mature looking and give him more appeal to the everyday tennis player. I wrote a letter to Nike about how upset it made me but I never sent it. I am okay with the look now but I still miss Rafa’s buff arms!

    When I saw the video of JMDP on SG and when I got to the part where he smiled and showed his new teeth….I screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I def. do not like his new teeth but hey if it makes him happier and less self-conscious.

  34. jjermann said

    ONLY TEETH,and thats big ONLY! pff… i dont understand all these negative reactions

  35. gauloises1 said

    Maria – thanks, I posted that a little while ago 🙂

  36. Shelley said

    Linex – Did JMDP say anything about having a girlfriend on SG? There has been a rumor going around that he is dating a 25 year old model (Yanina Screpante)…I saw it when I googled his name after he won the USO…just wondering if he mentioned it!

  37. Saoirse said

    That’s it: I am boycotting Nike. Who cares about ‘the everyday tennis player’?? What about the everyday horny female fan?? So what if I happen to enjoy lurking at good-looking young men buff biceps? Life is hard enough, I should be allowed this little luxury.

    Shelley, I will definitely need that letter of yours if they, evil Nike people, force my beloved Elf into a ‘mature-looking’ polo shirt. I still have nightmares about that oversized yellow & grey t-shirt of his… Don’t remember from what year/tournament, I have been working hard at erasing that image from my memory (with very little success).

    I cannot believe someone as hot as him would be self-conscious about his ADORABLE smile, but heck, as you say, if he’s happier that way…

  38. Shelley said

    Saoirse – I don’t know what Nike was thinking when they decided Rafa needed to start wearing short sleeves! I don’t think I have ever seen JMDP wear an oversized yellow and grey t-shirt…everything he wears from Nike is typically oversized! I would be very upset if Nike put Elf in a polo shirt…not good!

    I loved Elf’s old smile too! It was adorable! I am not sure if Elf was ever self-conscious but everyone has physical flaws that they are not happy about…so good for him for fixing it! VAMOS DELPO!

  39. AmyLu said

    My guess is that the Elf has either had crowns or veneers on his teeth. If he crowned his tooth, sadly, there’s not going to be much left of the original — although I highly doubt he has permanent crowns in right now. You’d have temporary ones, and then permanent ones are made (it takes several weeks to have this process done). But anyway, when you crown your tooth, your original tooth is drilled/whittled down to just a “post” — it’s basically the root and then the crown is fixed around it. Many crowns are porcelain but lined with gold inside (particularly crowns for back teeth).

    My guess is he may have veneers, just based on the number of teeth that it appears he had done. Typically a dentist won’t crown too many teeth at once, as the process leads to a lot of swelling and you can lose the shape of the jaw (and keeping teeth in alignment). The only time I had more than two or three teeth crowned at a time is when they did the front top four at once, and the bottom front four at once.

    And, yes, I know way too much about crowns. Here’s hoping he’s happier with his smile. I, however, will miss the old Elf smile.

    (and linex, it’s really nice to see you here!)

  40. Maria said

    I saw on a message board for Elf he said in that interview with THOSE teeth that he’s single. I’ll take his word for it, am sure it’ll be a while yet before he finds a nice woman to settle down with and have some cubs.

  41. Maria said

    Post no. 68 re a gf.

  42. Gaby said


  43. Shelley said

    Maria – thanks! I was curious about the rumors swirling around!

  44. Carrie said

    Hee hee- my dentist keeps trying to make me get veeners because I have horribly thin enamel. And tiny, tiny eye teeth. I get bonding but it does not help that much. But I can’t afford veeners at this point.

    Oh well- I don’t know if getting veeners actually means he is a different person since I have friends who have veeners who are good peeps. But I will miss his old smile- same as I miss Gaudio’s wonky tooth.

    Linex- like you I hope his fans don’t bail just because he he got veeners. Porcelain does not make the man. 😉

    He has waxed his eyebrows before. I think he waxes them every now and then and then they grow out.

  45. Daniel said

    Lol! those teeth look wierd, either way like some have said maybe it was a health issue instead of a pure aesthetical thing.

  46. linex said

    Shelley Susana asked Juan Martin if he had a girl friend (here magazines had talked about Juanma and Yanina too but they did not show any evidence). And Juan Martin answered NO. Susana said that it was a pity because it would be nice if he had a girlfriend to travel with him to tournaments etc. Juan Martin answered that he was young that perhaps at 28 closer to retirement from tennis he will be ready to get married and have kids etc.

    Also when Susana told him that it would be nice if a girlfriend travelled with him he teased Susana and told her why do you want me to invite a girlfriend to travel with me she will do the same as you and tell me that she is not able to come to see me in the final … (Juan M had invited Susana to see him playing in Flushing in a previous appearance in her show in July).

    Everything ended with Juan Martin telling her that if he had to invite someone to his matches he would invite her and that he expected to see her in London … Susana almost blushed and told him that she would not only go to London but find a suitable girl for her. She said that she would make emphasis in finding someone that cannot be classified as a “raquetera”. The press calls raqueteras to those upcoming models and actresses who date tennis players to gain press and success.

    Amylu and Carrie it is great that both of you post here too.

    Carrie I saw your answer regarding your husband working in Austin, I did not answer there because I saw it the next day and it was off topic to continue the conversation. I have never been there in Austin but it is a coincidence that we both lived in Chicago at the same time and that both your husband and me were studying law at that time. I love the US and Chicago in particular … I would not mind returning to the US to live and work but it is not that easy when you do not have a VISA.

    By the way, Carrie tomorrow Gaudio plays against Zabaleta in the Petrobras Challenger in the VIlas Club. This is a tournament that Delpo won in 2005 in the Uruguayan phase but lost in Bs As to Crazy Dany. I might attend the tournament but I am not sure which day.

  47. mrdarnley said

    It’s all a little too much pretty boy now. His teeth gave him a nice edge. Oh the drama, it’s like a bloody O. Henry story. I’ll reserve judgement until I see him all hot and sweaty on the court. LOVE the teeth tribute! And thanks for the translation.

  48. Maria said

    Thanks for the translation Linex, I LOVE the term “raquetera” very appropriate, lol. Susana Giminez is soooo sweet on him.

  49. mina said

    i was laughing so hard at the RIP teeth pic.

    my guess is veneers. crowns are generally not advised for all the front teeth just for cosmetic purposes (meaning they don’t have cavities etc).

    it will be a sad day in ElfLand when Nike decides to punish us with *gaspshockhorror* sleeves.

  50. mina said

    i was laughing so hard at the RIP teeth pic.

    my guess is veneers. crowns are generally not advised for all the front teeth just for cosmetic purposes (meaning they don’t have cavities etc).

    it will be a sad day in ElfLand when Nike decides to punish us with *gaspshockhorror* sleeves.
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  51. imtotallyrad said

    tis a sad day indeed…for everyone posting on here really i mean its sad that he changed his teeth to those things…..and its sad that we all care so much….he needs to get his old teeth back and we need to get slightly more entertaining lives…. =P


  52. Carrie said

    In thinking about this while driving (my mind wanders) I was hoping that the Chicklets he has now are those temporary veneers that you get before you get the permanant ones in. Because they do that sometimes for a few days- about a week. And maybe they will modify them. I have told my dentist that if I ever get veneers (seriously like I mentioned before he is pushing for me to get veneers pretty hard) I do not want to suddenly have teeth like Hillary Duf.

    Gaudio did a good job with his. Although I miss his snaggle tooth- the new Gaudio teeth are not so large. Oh Elf- the follies of youth.

    Linex- I imagine that a Visa would be important to work in the US. 🙂 Those years that were were in Chicago had some loooong winters. 45 degrees at a Cubs game in April- no thanks!

  53. linex said

    Carrie funny because I just arrived home from watching Gaudio live in Vilas Tenis Clus (Petrobras Challenger Event BS As stage). He beat Mariano Zabaleta 6-1 7-6. Before the match I came across him, he looks better than years before, he was on the phone, so I said nothing to him, plus there were too many people around. I could not see his teeth though, but anyway he probably had his teeth very well fixed because I did not notice about his makeover in any picture or tV interview as I imediately did with Delpo.

    From the tennistic point of view, Gaudio is hitting the ball very well from both sides, committing few unforced errors, and playing nice volleys, drops, overheads, lobs you name it. The guy has flawless technique. Zabaleta has a good forehand but that is it, but his twon handed backhand is a less than average shot.

    The match had its Gaudio moment and this was when the linesman called him on a footfault for the 6th time in the match and Gaudio shouted to him: “no me jodas más con las foot faults” (do not bother me any more with the footfaults”). Bother is a polite transaltion since joder is not a gentile formal term. Everyone laughed and as it was late in the second set, coincidentally no more foot faults were called on him.

    I observed him clearly when he served and it was obvious that if he stood just a few cms further away from the line he would not have so much trouble with foot faults. Gaudio like Safin usually is famous for commiting foot faults in all his matches.

    Apart from this match, I watched Maximo Gonzalez defeat Juan Pablo Brezicki. It is clear that these 2 players are trier four in comparison to Gaudio. As Federer said you do not forget your tennis this is why Gaudio, even if he is less focused on his career now, and perhaps lacks match play and consistency, is clearly in antoher league in comparison to Maxi Gonzalez. We will see though in the end of the week if his talent and technique leads him to victory or if he will fall to Zeballos or Gonzalez or Lapenti which are the top seeds in this event.

    I will attend the tournament tomorrow too, Lapentti faces Roitman, and Zeballos plays Mariano Puerta, while Chela faces Arganguren.

    By the way, while the weather was not as cold as in a Chicago winter, it was too cold for the spring, I was freezing over there in the end …

    Carrie, I guess living a few blocks away from N Michigan Ave, and one block away from Law School, surrounded by a lot of friends that I made over there, helped me and the winter was not so hard. Two trips to the Uruguayan summer one in december and the other one in April must have helped too during that year that I spent in Chicago. In Ny I had the mildest winter that I can remember this was in 2001.

  54. Maria said

    Has anyone seen this ad? Love the part where he ‘bumps’ the girl! Strange but amusing advert.

  55. gauloises1 said

    Yeah – I posted those ads on here a while ago. Thanks though 🙂

  56. mrdarnley said

    His friends are quite hot as well…

  57. Saoirse said

    Oh how I would love to be that phone and get to spend so much quality time on his crotch…

  58. Mom2KidsMortgage said

    You guys, again, are hilarious. I was soooooooooooooo excited to see his new teeth! He looks great! This means he takes his marketing appeal seriously, which means he’s pursuing more sponsors, which means he’s pursuing more endorsements, which means more recognition for him, which means MORE PICTURES / MORE VIDEOS / MORE COMMERCIALS / MORE ADVERTISEMENTS / MORE JUAN MARTIN DEL POTRO EVERYWHERE! Oh! Can my little acre of the planet get any more blissful?

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