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Image is Everything: Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now

Posted by gauloises1 on November 30, 2009

Because I like to torture myself, and because Elf was on particularly hangdog form today …

Now I want at least three ideas from each of you on how to cheer our boy up.

The filthier the better.

14 Responses to “Image is Everything: Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”

  1. irefusetotellyou said

    Well, obviously you didn’t notice, but I’m already in the act of cheering him up in the first photo.

    HOTCHA!

  2. irefusetotellyou said

    Also,

    Roses are red, violets are blue.
    Juan Martin, I want to [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] you.
    … because we will [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] but then I might[EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] after some [EXPLETIVE] and you’ll [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] and I will [EXPLETIVE] and we’ll both [EXPLETIVE] because I [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] and we [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE].

    Amen.

  3. Mlle. Marseillaise (a.k.a Joan) said

    Get him some jam and toast with nesquik chocolate milk. If you can’t make something as delicious and sticky as jam dirty then I can’t help you.

  4. Saoirse said

    Love how you renamed all your pictures on the Sad Delpo thematic. Sad Delpo with trophy, Sad Delpo in chair… My twisted mind thinks it’s funny for some reason.

    As for our boy, here are some ideas from and actual website on how to cheer up someone who needs it (I am not making this shit up, I swear. It actually exists. And it cracks me up.)

    ‘Whenever we feel down or discouraged, it helps to know that a friend is just a phone call or email away. And a good friend will know just the thing that can cheer us up and get us going again, whether it’s a corny joke or delicious batch of brownies (!!!).

    If you have a friend who needs occasional encouragement, here are a few reminders about the universal kinds of things that often help people to feel special or get their minds off their troubles:

    1. Uplifting words. Some folks are more attuned to words than others. If that is how your friend is, shower him with encouraging notes, thoughtful cards, or even a personally written poem.(Gaul, that’s you cue)
    2. Small tokens. If you live at a distance from a pal who is down, send a cookie basket or a bouquet of flowers.(How about my c*nt in a box, big boy?)
    3. Physical expressions.(this is having me in stitches) Look your friend in the eyes and smile deeply. Give him a hug, side to side or face to face. Clasp hands. Kiss his cheek, head, forehead, or hand. Be there, figuratively and literally, for a friend you truly care about. (I think that’s EXACTLY the sort of physical expression IRRTY was referring about.)
    4. Do something. Call to offer your services or pitch in where needed. (Oh I can offer you my services all right… can I tempt you with any of my, er, body fluids Mr. Del Potro?)
    5. Give the gift of time. Sit by your friend’s side and merely listen as he pours out heartfelt feelings. (a task we at NBP are collectively up for, methinks)

    Let’s get to work, ladies!

    • irefusetotellyou said

      AHAHAHA this is great.

      I think we can surely attend to all his needs, per the suggestions of that website.

      (Also, “give the gift of time”? Baaaaaaaaaahahha.)

  5. mgasol said

    A sad Delpo is still a hot Delpo. I wouldn’t mind having a sad Delpo once in a while. 🙂

  6. Rafadoc said

    Well, he should be cheered by the fact he was beaten by a very, very good tennis player today. Kolya was awesome in his own Chickie way.

  7. mrdarnley said

    Cheesecake, booze, and sex (not just IRRTY style but the full kit and caboodle thanks). That should do the trick. maybe some sun too given the absolute crap weather that probably isn’t going down so well in the Argentine camp.

    Oh I hate seeing those pix he looks crushed. I was looking forward to seeing the teeth again. I blame tiredness, and speaking of which I read on the Fue Buena site Elf is playing Gonzo in Rosario in Arg on Wednesday. yikes! He’ll want to be on the way or already home if so.

  8. Maria said

    *screeches with laughter at replies* Oh and steak, lots of steak. Oh to be that trophy….Another match for Delpo?! Please let him SLEEP. Preferably in my room….

  9. Maria said

    Thinking about ways to cheer him up? Only things I’ve come up with involve one wearing food in creative/rude ways and serving oneself like a dish….

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