New Balls, Please

"Climbing the Comeback Mountain with the Tower of Tandil."

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I Hope He Paid For Condoms

Posted by gauloises1 on February 19, 2010

Courtesy of the New Zealand Herald, the kind of insight into Delpo’s sex life we all hope and pray for on  a daily basis:

Brazilian model Lola Bezerra reckons soccer stars make lousy lovers and has made a “qualitative switch” to tennis players, with a former Heineken Open-winner coming up trumps. “Recently I did Juan Martin Del Potro,” she cheerily informs us. “He was rather tall which made matters a little awkward, and I had to pay for my own taxi afterwards, but he was still more dignified than footballers. I am decided. From now, I will only do tennis players.”

Dignity: important
With Miss Bezerra, dignity is everything. “For example, when I do it in nightclubs, I only do it in the VIP section. I make sure that those outside the VIP section cannot see my details. For me it is clear: without dignity, there is nothing.”

source

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: whatever keeps the strain off the wrist.

(Mildly NSFW photo of Miss Bezerra under the cut.)

29 Responses to “I Hope He Paid For Condoms”

  1. irefusetotellyou said

    I am mildly disgusted.

    Mostly because it wasn’t I who was doing that there sexing. 😦

  2. mrdarnley said

    holy god. The more about read about south american sport stars and models the more I think I’m a total prude circa 1876. Dignity is important but then again she did Juan Martin, not any of us (well not yet)

  3. whitelinefervor said

    Is she trying to show us what her implants are made of?

  4. naughty T....urbane gentleman said

    yay for Ballers.

  5. Maria1 said

    Seriously by the time that boy goes back to playing le tennis ‘it’ would be ready to fall off from overusage! Mrdarnley I think I’m like that too. :p Pah to all these models.

    • gauloises1 said

      I wouldn’t treat this as the most authentic account ever. I just thought it was amusing.

      • irefusetotellyou said

        True.

        The New Zealand Herald is probably written by Joe Bob Billy in a basement somewhere in Arkansas.

        (no offense to people named Joe Bob Billy and/or the people of Arkansas)

        • sophienz said

          Hey! The Herald’s not that bad. Although I’d like to think more of Delpo, and The Billy Joe/Arkansas thing is clearly the only rational explanation, ha.

  6. Mom2KidsDog said

    I’m a bit confused. Is she switching to tennis players because the sex was not quite as bad as with footballers, or the sex was so much more fantastic with a tennis player than with prior footballers? One would think if she’s going to kiss ‘n tell, she could be a bit more forthcoming. One would also think JMDelpo would want the latter clarification highly-publicized and made crystal clear. By the way, if the PG-rating on this website is degraded (or upgraded, depending on your perspective) at some point or another to an NC-17 rating, I won’t be able to visit again until after my kids graduate.

    • robert said

      According to the young “lady”, footballers are not as dignified as tennis players. Dignity is all important to her, apparently. Even if the act itself turns out to be slightly awkward due to height, it’s no big deal as long as there’s dignity.

      She’s even prepared to pay her own taxi fares to get some dignity. I wonder if by dignity she means not being verbally and physically abused or something.

      Seriously, I started worrying about Delpo the moment I read about artificial teeth. Then he started to reiterate in each interview how he has no girlfriend and would like to have one. Then this. Boy, at least pay for the darned taxi and tell them to keep their mouths shut. Or avoid these dignity-hunters alltogether.

    • Elle said

      In the original spanish interview this girl did she said Delpo was a 9 out of 10 in bed and that the only issue was that he was so tall, so that it made it a little awkward …so I guess thats pretty flattering lol…

      …oh and I think she said he gave her a sweater or something to wear home in the morning because she was cold…so I guess that makes up for the non-taxi paying

    • Mom2KidsDog said

      JMDelpo then must be quite gratified he’s so dignified (code for great in the sack!)and she’s broadcasting how much dignity he gave her. If this is the way Delpo goes about finding a girlfriend, his mom must be so proud!

  7. AmyLu said

    This story made me laugh. A lot. I love how the model mentions dignity — apparently it’s very dignified to broadcast your sex life, no?

  8. Nic said

    From the picture it looks like she has a keen interest in tennis and that’s nice now isn’t it?

  9. mina said

    stay classy, girl. *snort* nothing more dignified in this world than a kiss and tell.

    highly, highly doubt if the “kiss” part ever happened though.

  10. Imtotallyrad said

    wow what a classy lass….exactly the type of girl you’d be proud to take home to your mum.

    however having said that im pretty sure if i did juan martin id tell everyone i could…hell i would probably print out t-shirts saying “i climbed the tower of tandil…and it was gooood” if id just slept with him i really wouldnt care if he paid for a taxi or not xD hell he could dump me out on the street after he finsihed with me dignity be damned!! xD

  11. harini said

    LOL.
    That is all.

  12. Maria1 said

    Oh I know this was probably as you’ve wonderfully put it: Joe Bob Billy in a basement somewhere in Arkansas. IRTTY, the dignity bit made me LMAO (am still laughing), yer arse hanging out of a cheese grater….

    As for climbing the Tandilense Salami I would keep quiet I would just float on air and wouldn’t stop grinning telling all cryptically that I have had greatness thrust upon me. Great empathis on thrust…Ahem.

  13. lola said

    Susanna must me jealoouuus!! LOL, this story is hysterical. Which came first, the sex or her photoshoot? either way-she’s prepared.

  14. Bertie Biscuit said

    Is “he was rather tall” code for something?

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