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RG Day One: If You Were Forced To Answer Stupid Questions …

Posted by gauloises1 on May 23, 2010

Marin Cilic had about as a routine a win as he ever really does today, beating Ricardo Mello (not to be confused with Marcelo Melo of Melo and Sa, who I am reliably informed is an entirely different person) 61 36 63 61. And then, this being Roland Garros, he had to do a slightly mad interview.

If you were a country?
Croatia. It’s my country but, more importantly, it’s a fantastic country and a great place to live. It’s mellow, and the people are nice and open. We also have the sea, mountains and lots of different things to see.
[I hear it’s the Mediterranean as it once was. Am I right, Eurosport viewers?]

If you were a city?
Melbourne. It’s a great city, with a Mediterranean atmosphere. There is a lot to do and the people are relaxed. It is also a city that is on a human scale.

If you were a main course?
Filet mignon. Medium-rare, but not too rare.
[See? He wants me to feed him steaks. And pie. While dressed as a ’50s housewife.]

If you were a film?
Braveheart! I like the story, the characters and the epic battles. It’s a wonderful film.

If you were a song?
Numb-Encore, by Jay Z and Linkin Park.
[Christ on a  bike. He means this.]

If you were an historic event?
The Olympics. I was lucky enough to be a member of Croatia’s 2008 team for the Beijing Olympics. For sports like athletics and swimming, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime competition.

If you were a car?
A Mercedes S50. A combination of power, speed and safety.
[Just like his game, if it had some safety.]

If you were a restaurant?
A steakhouse.
[I’d eat there.]

If you were a drink?
Coca Cola.
[I’d slurp it through a straw.]

If you were a tournament?
One of the four Grand Slams.

If you had special powers?
I’d like to be able to fly.

If you were a gadget?
A BlackBerry.

If you were a football player?
Kaka, the Brazilian player. He’s my favourite player.

If you were a sport other than tennis?

If you were an airport?

If you were a time of day?
8 a.m.

If you were a website?
[I’d search his engine.]

If you were a place in Paris?
The Champs-Elysées.

If you were a French word?

If you were a time in history?
The birth of Jesus.

If you were a romantic location?
A pretty island beach.

But that’s not all, we also got this rather nice photo out of it.

What a handsome young man he is.

4 Responses to “RG Day One: If You Were Forced To Answer Stupid Questions …”

  1. kefuoe said

    From now on, I’m using these questions to identify potential soul-mates. Because, you know, our airports should have direct connections.

  2. irefusetotellyou said

    The questions and responses themselves were hilariously redonkulous, but Gaul’s additions made ’em even better. As usual.


  3. lauren said

    “…the Mediterranean as it once was.” I thought that ad was my own private hell. Glad to see someone else has been deeply scarred by the repeated showing. The music. The fecken music! Once day when I’m ancient and senile I’ll be found singing that song.

  4. mrdarnley said

    very funny esp with yer additions. and wow what a great pic! thanks

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