Argentina Win Wrong World Cup

Team Argentina, led by Pico and Horacio Zeballos, won the ARAG World Team Championship in Dusseldorf at the weekend. OK, so it’s not the Davis Cup, and it’s a made-up thing that defies all reason and logic, but still, it’s rough times for the Argy-lovers among us. We’ll take it.

Anyway, I like the celebrations.

ATP: Ignoring Dusseldorf

Judging on Nice, the men aren’t too much more stable this week than the women. The only seed living up to his obligations is Fernando Verdasco, who beat Sergiy Stakhovsky 64 in the third to set up a semi-final with Horseface, who scored an excellent and scandalously unphotographed win against Baggy. On the other side of the draw, it’s a semi-hilarious semi with Gasquet against Potito Starace – the man, the myth, the name – who beat Gael Monfils in straight sets.

Deal with that for a minute.

I’m not even going to pretend to understand what’s happening in Dusseldorf. Just have a picture of Pico and the Onion.

See? Two Argies, only one visible bandage, and no signs of imminent withdrawal/collapse. I told you this tournament makes no sense.

Image is Everything: I Think I'm Pregnant Now

Some pics of Juan Monaco practicing in Dusseldorf that just HAVE to be seen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You guys know I’m a fan of hands, right?

Well, I am. And great hair. And shy smiles. And fantastic shoulders. And just, Juan Monaco. OMG. OMFG.

(Photos courtesy of canas-online.de)

Image is Everything: Let's Twist Again

So after all that hideousness in the previous post, I needed a palate-cleanser.

Men’s Health, 0; Nature, 1.

Or should that be TRYST again?

See, that joke falls down because we’ve never trysted before. Also, it’s bad.

Image is Everything: Saturday Stars

So, Warsaw, Dusseldorf, Kitzbuhel and Strasbourg all had their finals today.

As I said elsewhere, I know these tournaments don’t get much attention. (Even from me.) The build-up to Roland Garros, the lack of big names and seeds in the finals … But do you think it matters to the winners today, that we snobby tennis fans will be placing mental asterixes next to their wins? Not a bar of it.

So big props to the soft-haired Serbs in Dusseldorf, the qualifier Dulgheru in Warsaw, Guillermo Garcia-Lopez in Kitzbuhel, and Aravane Rezai in Strasbourg. Well done indeed.

That said, I didn’t watch any of the matches so just have some pictures.

Now get your asses to Paris. Stat.

Er – except you, Dulgheru. I don’t think you’re in the draw.

Friday Results: Finalists Finalised

Dusseldorf

I’ve given up trying to understand what’s happening here. All I know is that it involves a lot of happy Teutonic hugging.

And that it’s Germany vs. Serbia in the final tomorrow. Who needs Nole, eh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Admittedly tangential, but why do all Serbs seem to have such soft, shiny hair?

Singles Round Robin Matches
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d A Vinciguerra (SWE) 61 62
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d F Piccari (ITA) 62 63
*M Gonzalez (ARG) d E Korolev (RUS) 63 36 63

*M Gonzalez (ARG) replaced J Monaco (ARG) (left wrist)

Doubles Round Robin Matches
N Kiefer (GER) / M Zverev (GER) d R Lindstedt (SWE) / R Soderling (SWE) 76(4) 46 13-11 – Saved 1 M.P.
M Gonzalez (ARG) / J del Potro (ARG) d E Korolev (RUS) / D Tursunov (RUS) 22 ret. (Korolev – left ankle)
N Zimonjic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) d F Piccari (ITA) / A Seppi (ITA) 60 76(5)

Kitzbuhel

Little-known Armada tugboat Guillermo Garcia-Lopez upset Mikhail Youzhny to book a place in the final, where he’ll face the Queen of Spain (go with it) Julien Benneteau in a clash that tournament organisers are already billing as “… who?”

Singles – Semi-finals
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [7] M Youzhny (RUS) 63 16 76(5)
[LL] J Benneteau (FRA) d O Hernandez (ESP) 63 64

Doubles – Semi-finals
[2] M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) d C Kas (GER) / A Peya (AUT) 64 60
A Pavel (ROU) / H Tecau (ROU) d J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) 67(1) 63 15-13
– Saved 2 M.P.

Warsaw

Let’s hear it for plucky Romanian qualifier Alexandra Dulgheru! Her name might abbreviate to “dul”, but her game certainly isn’t. Apparently, as she upset sixth seed and perpetual disappointment Daniela Hantuchova for a place in the final. She’ll face Alona Bondarenko, a finalist back in 2007, who knocked out Britland fave and all-round Tim Anne Keothavong in straight sets – on the same day that Keo drew Safina as a first round opponent at Roland Garros. Double trouble.

Singles – Semifinals
(Q) Alexandra Dulgheru (ROU) d. (6/WC) Daniela Hantuchova (SVK) 64 67(2) 61
(8) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Anne Keothavong (GBR) 62 75

Strasbourg

Not a single seed remains in this tournament. “Strasbourg” is German for “clusterfuck”, you know. So it’s a Rezai-Hradecka final! Go girls.

Singles – Semifinals
Aravane Rezai (FRA) d. (Q) Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) 64 62
Lucie Hradecka (CZE) d. Ayumi Morita (JPN) 60 10 ret. (left thigh strain)

Doubles – Semifinals
(2) Dechy/Santangelo (FRA/ITA) d. Beygelzimer/Sun (UKR/CHN) 63 76(2)

Thursday Results: Dusseldorf, Kitzbuhel

See previous post re: WYNTK.

Dusseldorf

Still don’t understand what the hell is going on with this tournament, but I do understand this; Querrey beat Simon. WTF. Oh, and Soderling double-bagelled Schuettler.

Did I already say “WTF”?

And my man inexplicably felt the need to take the second to a TB, but pulled out the win nonetheless over Andreev to give Argentina the lead.

Still makes me tingly inside.

Singles Round Robin Matches
R Soderling (SWE) d R Schuettler (GER) 60 60
S Querrey (USA) d G Simon (FRA) 75 63
J Tsonga (FRA) d R Ginepri (USA) 36 62 64
J Del Potro (ARG) d I Andreev (RUS) 63 76(3)
A Seppi (ITA) d V Troicki (SRB) 61 64

Doubles Round Robin Matches
M Fish (USA) / S Querrey (USA) d J Chardy (FRA) / G Simon (FRA) 26 64 10-7

Kitzbuhel

Love in the time of Koellerer.

Other than making that joke, I don’t care.

Singles – Quarter-finals
[7] M Youzhny (RUS) d [2] J Melzer (AUT) 64 64
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d [3] V Hanescu (ROU) 62 62
O Hernandez (ESP) d [Q] J Chela (ARG) 64 64
[LL] J Benneteau (FRA) d [WC] D Koellerer (AUT) 62 67(5) 60

Doubles – Quarter-finals
[2] M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) d S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 63 64

OsOP: Warsaw, Strasbourg, Dusseldorf, Kitzbuhel

Warsaw

Center Court (from 12.00hrs)
1. Olaru vs. Keothavong
2. Sharapova vs. A.Bondarenko
3. Hantuchova vs. Zakopalova
4. Bondarenko/Bondarenko vs. Yan/Zheng

Court 1 (from 12.00hrs)
1. Voskoboeva vs. Dulgheru
2. Peschke/Raymond vs. Goerges/Olaru (after suitable rest)
3. Kops-Jones/Mattek-Sands vs. Koryttseva/Voskoboeva (after suitable rest)

Strasbourg

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Yakimova vs. Rezai
2. Medina Garrigues vs. Barrois
3. Peng vs. Parmentier
4. Cohen-Aloro vs. Dulko

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Krauth/Nooni vs. Laisne/Pavlovic
2. Hradecka vs. Kudryavtseva (NB 12.30hrs)
3. Niculescu vs. Beygelzimer
4. Hlavackova/Hradecka vs. [Krauth/Nooni or Laisne/Pavlovic]
5. Kudryavtseva/Kutuzova vs. Anderson/Schaul

Court 3 (from 12.00hrs)
1. Morita vs. Coin
2. Kutuzova vs. Foretz
3. Birnerova/Hrdinova vs. Dechy/Santangelo
4. Daniilidou/Woehr vs. Feuerstein/Foretz

Dusseldorf

Donnerstag, 21.05.2009, Beginn: 12:30 Uhr Court 1 / 12.00 Uhr Court 2

Center Court: 1
Red	GER	Schüttler	SWE	Söderling
Blue	ARG	del Potro	RUS	Andreev
Blue	SRB	Troicki	ITA	Seppi

 

Center Court: 2
Red	FRA	Simon	USA	Querrey
Red	FRA	Tsonga	USA	Ginepri
Red	FRA	FRA / FRA	USA	USA / USA

Kitzbuhel

Thursday, 21st May • Donnerstag, 21. Mai
Center Court	Grandstand
Matches start at Spiele beginnen um 12:00	Matches start at Spiele beginnen um 15:30
Mikhail YOUZHNY (RUS) vs Jurgen MELZER (AUT)
followed by gefolgt von
Daniel KOELLERER (AUT) vs Julien BENNETEAU (FRA)
followed by gefolgt von	Matches start at Spiele beginnen um 15:30
Guillermo GARCIA-LOPEZ (ESP) vs Victor HANESCU (ROU)	Oscar HERNANDEZ (ESP) vs Juan Ignacio CHELA (ARG)
followed by gefolgt von
Simon ASPELIN (SWE) Paul HANLEY (AUS) vs Marcelo MELO (BRA) Andre SA (BRA)

Dusseldorf, Kitzbuhel Results: Confused and Apathetic

Dusseldorf

Yeah, I’m confused.

So … the US and France are out because they lost to Sweden and Germany, right? Which makes it a Sweden-Germany Red Group semi.

But in the Blue Group, Serbia are in the semis after winning both their ties … and Italy-Argentina both have one win. So if Argentina beat Russia tomorrow, they’ll be in the semis … right?

Oh god, I just don’t know what’s happening. Anyway, all I know is that Maximo Gonzalez stepped in for Pico to give Argentina a good win over Italy today (with some help from Elf in the doubs), and Philipp Kohlschreiber claimed a very good three-set win over Tsonga.

Fine German engineering.

Singles Round Robin Matches
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d J Tsonga (FRA) 67(2) 63 63
*M Gonzalez (ARG) d S Bolelli (ITA) 63 57 64

*M Gonzalez (ARG) replaced J Monaco (ARG) (left wrist)

Doubles Round Robin Matches
M Fish (USA) / S Querrey (USA) d R Lindstedt (SWE) / R Soderling (SWE) 26 62 10-3
N Zimonjic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) d E Korolev (RUS) / S Vovk (RUS) 61 61
N Kiefer (GER) / M Zverev (GER) d J Chardy (FRA) / G Simon (FRA) 60 64
M Gonzalez (ARG) / J del Potro (ARG) d F Piccari (ITA) / A Seppi (ITA) 62 63

Kitzbuhel

Don’t expect me to care. I only have so much to give.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Singles – Second Round
[2] J Melzer (AUT) d A Calleri (ARG) 64 75
[3] V Hanescu (ROU) d M Granollers (ESP) 61 76(2)
[7] M Youzhny (RUS) d [WC] S Koubek (AUT) 62 64
O Hernandez (ESP) d [WC] A Beck (GER) 75 64
[WC] D Koellerer (AUT) d D Junqueira (ARG) 61 62
[Q] J Chela (ARG) d [LL] R Ramirez Hidalgo (ESP) 63 62
[LL] J Benneteau (FRA) d N Massu (CHI) 61 67(4) 76(7)

Doubles – Quarter-finals
A Pavel (ROU) / H Tecau (ROU) d [1] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) 46 75 10-7
J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d [4] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 62 64
C Kas (GER) / A Peya (AUT) d L Arnold Ker (ARG) / O Marach (AUT) 63 64

Doubles – First Round
L Arnold Ker (ARG) / O Marach (AUT) d [WC] M Kohlmann (GER) / P Oswald (AUT) 64 67(5) 10-8
S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d M Ancic (CRO) / M Youzhny (RUS) 62 64

OsOP: Wednesday in Warsaw, Strasbourg, Kitzbuhel, Dusseldorf

Warsaw

Center Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Domachowska vs. A.Bondarenko
2. Kustova vs. Sharapova
3. Hantuchova vs. U.Radwanska
4. Jans/Rosolska vs. Koryttseva/Voskoboeva

Court 1 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Dulgheru vs. Errani
2. Zakopalova vs. Zheng
3. Goerges vs. Olaru
4. Kops-Jones/Mattek-Sands vs. Lefèvre/Szatmari (tbc)
4. Amanmuradova/Kustova vs. Yan/Zheng

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Craybas vs. Keothavong
2. K.Bondarenko vs. Voskoboeva
3. Peschke/Raymond vs. Errani/Garbin
4. Czink/Grandin vs. Bondarenko/Bondarenko (after suitable rest)

Strasbourg

Centre Court (from 11.00hrs)
1. Yakimova vs. Rezai
2. Medina Garrigues vs. Barrois
3. Peng vs. Parmentier
4. Cohen-Aloro vs. Dulko

Court 2 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Krauth/Nooni vs. Laisne/Pavlovic
2. Hradecka vs. Kudryavtseva (NB 12.30hrs)
3. Niculescu vs. Beygelzimer
4. Hlavackova/Hradecka vs. [Krauth/Nooni or Laisne/Pavlovic]
5. Kudryavtseva/Kutuzova vs. Anderson/Schaul

Court 3 (from 12.00hrs)
1. Morita vs. Coin
2. Kutuzova vs. Foretz
3. Birnerova/Hrdinova vs. Dechy/Santangelo
4. Daniilidou/Woehr vs. Feuerstein/Foretz

Dusseldorf

Center Court: 1
Red	FRA	Tsonga	GER	Kohlschreiber
Red	USA	USA / USA	SWE	SWE / SWE
Red	FRA	FRA / FRA	GER	GER / GER

 

Center Court: 2
Blue	ARG	Monaco	ITA	Bolelli
Blue	RUS	RUS / RUS	SRB	SRB / SRB
Blue	ARG	ARG / ARG	ITA	ITA / ITA

Kitzbuhel

Center Court	Grandstand	Kuchenmeister
Matches start at Spiele beginnen um 12:00	Matches start at Spiele beginnen um 12:00	Matches start at Spiele beginnen um 12:00
Agustin CALLERI (ARG) vs Jurgen MELZER (AUT)	Oscar HERNANDEZ (ESP) vs Andreas BECK (GER)	Ruben RAMIREZ HIDALGO (ESP) vs Juan Ignacio CHELA (ARG)
followed by gefolgt von	followed by gefolgt von	followed by gefolgt von
Mikhail YOUZHNY (RUS) vs Stefan KOUBEK (AUT)	Marcel GRANOLLERS (ESP) vs Victor HANESCU (ROU)	Mariusz FYRSTENBERG (POL) Marcin MATKOWSKI (POL) vs Andrei PAVEL (ROU) Horia TECAU (ROU)
followed by gefolgt von	followed by gefolgt von	followed by gefolgt von
Diego JUNQUEIRA (ARG) vs Daniel KOELLERER (AUT)	Nicolas MASSU (CHI) vs Julien BENNETEAU (FRA)	To Be Finished 64 67 Lucas ARNOLD KER (ARG) Oliver MARACH (AUT) vs Michael KOHLMANN (GER) Philipp OSWALD (AUT)
followed by gefolgt von	followed by gefolgt von	followed by gefolgt von
Frantisek CERMAK (CZE) Michal MERTINAK (SVK) vs Julian KNOWLE (AUT) Jurgen MELZER (AUT)	Lucas ARNOLD KER (ARG)/Oliver MARACH (AUT) or Michael KOHLMANN (GER)/Philipp OSWALD (AUT) vs Christopher KAS (GER) Alexander PEYA (AUT)	After Suitable Rest Mario ANCIC (CRO) Mikhail YOUZHNY (RUS) vs Simon ASPELIN (SWE) Paul HANLEY (AUS)