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Archive for the ‘juan monaco’ Category


Posted by gauloises1 on May 26, 2010

*scans yesterday’s results*


PICO! Losing to some old guy from Slovenia (Grega Zemlja, if you must know) is NOT COOL. You know what else is NOT COOL? Your idiotic decision to postpone wrist surgery and play through the clay season. Yeah, that worked out really well. FULL MARKS. /sarcasm

Go and get better NOW. I have room for ONE sexy man in a cast in my life and you’d better believe it’s not you. I insist you go and have your surgery and then go back to Argentina and snuggle up with Elf and draw on each other’s casts.

And don’t let me see you again until you’re better. I’M SERIOUS.

Christ on a bike.

Posted in french open, juan monaco | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Argentina Win Wrong World Cup

Posted by gauloises1 on May 23, 2010

Team Argentina, led by Pico and Horacio Zeballos, won the ARAG World Team Championship in Dusseldorf at the weekend. OK, so it’s not the Davis Cup, and it’s a made-up thing that defies all reason and logic, but still, it’s rough times for the Argy-lovers among us. We’ll take it.

Anyway, I like the celebrations.

Posted in dusseldorf, horacio zeballos, juan monaco, titlists | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

ATP: Ignoring Dusseldorf

Posted by gauloises1 on May 21, 2010

Judging on Nice, the men aren’t too much more stable this week than the women. The only seed living up to his obligations is Fernando Verdasco, who beat Sergiy Stakhovsky 64 in the third to set up a semi-final with Horseface, who scored an excellent and scandalously unphotographed win against Baggy. On the other side of the draw, it’s a semi-hilarious semi with Gasquet against Potito Starace – the man, the myth, the name – who beat Gael Monfils in straight sets.

Deal with that for a minute.

I’m not even going to pretend to understand what’s happening in Dusseldorf. Just have a picture of Pico and the Onion.

See? Two Argies, only one visible bandage, and no signs of imminent withdrawal/collapse. I told you this tournament makes no sense.

Posted in dusseldorf, gael monfils, horacio zeballos, juan monaco, nice | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Rome: Tuesday’s Results, Wednesday’s OOP

Posted by gauloises1 on April 27, 2010

While Murray stunned the nation by winning a match and some other guy lost, Novak Djokovic’s crushing win over Jeremy Chardy went somewhat unnoticed, but win he did, 61 61. In encouraging news, his serve looked particularly good.

Juan Monaco, meanwhile, suffered another disappointing defeat, going down in straights to Victor Hanescu. I don’t know how much the wrist is bothering him, but his results certainly don’t seem to justify postponing the surgery.

Obligatory disbelieving look over the net.

I’ll bet that some martyred, long-suffering pleading with the umpire was involved as well.

The unseeded Wawrinka and Lopez both had thorough straight sets wins and were apparently looking very good, while Nose Job prevailed over Horseface and Lleyton Hewitt had a tough win over Mikhail Youzhny in three.

David Ferrer beat Evgeny Korolev to face Andy Murray in the second round, and last week’s girl Thiemo de Bakker was forced to retire in the third set against Viktor Troicki.


Singles – Second Round
E Gulbis (LAT) d [1] R Federer (SUI) 26 61 75
[2] N Djokovic (SRB) d J Chardy (FRA) 61 61
[4] A Murray (GBR) d A Seppi (ITA) 62 64
V Hanescu (ROU) d [16] J Monaco (ARG) 76(4) 64

Singles – First Round
L Hewitt (AUS) d [9] M Youzhny (RUS) 64 46 63
[13] D Ferrer (ESP) vs E Korolev (KAZ)
N Almagro (ESP) d L Kubot (POL) 67(3) 62 63
S Wawrinka (SUI) d J Melzer (AUT) 61 62
F Lopez (ESP) d B Becker (GER) 64 63
V Troicki (SRB) d T de Bakker (NED) 36 61 10 ret. (groin)
T Bellucci (BRA) vs [Q] L Mayer (ARG)
[WC] S Bolelli (ITA) d [LL] S Greul (GER) 64 61

Doubles – First Round
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / A Montanes (ESP) vs M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL)
I Ljubicic (CRO) / M Llodra (FRA) d J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR) 64 63
P Cuevas (URU) / J Monaco (ARG) d J Benneteau (FRA) / J Chardy (FRA) 36 75 10-8
J Isner (USA) / S Querrey (USA) d J Tsonga (FRA) / S Wawrinka (SUI) 46 62 10-7
[WC] S Bolelli (ITA) / P Starace (ITA) d I Andreev (RUS) / M Youzhny (RUS) 64 62
N Almagro (ESP) / M Granollers (ESP) d F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) 62 76(3)

Wednesday’s OOP is brought to you by the seductive pout of Jeremy Chardy.

CAMPO CENTRALE start 1:00 pm
[WC] P Lorenzi (ITA) vs [5] R Soderling (SWE)
[3] R Nadal (ESP) vs P Kohlschreiber (GER)
[6] F Verdasco (ESP) vs [WC] S Bolelli (ITA)

Non prima delle 20:30
[13] D Ferrer (ESP) or E Korolev (KAZ) vs [WC] P Starace (ITA)
F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) vs [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA)

[WC] F Volandri (ITA) vs J Benneteau (FRA)
[10] T Berdych (CZE) vs S Wawrinka (SUI)
[7] J Tsonga (FRA) vs V Troicki (SRB)
F Lopez (ESP) vs [8] M Cilic (CRO)

CAMPO 5 Inizio 13:00
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) vs L Hewitt (AUS)
[WC] Y Allegro (SUI) / R Federer (SUI) vs [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS)
[14] J Isner (USA) vs T Bellucci (BRA) or [Q] L Mayer (ARG)

CAMPO 6 Inizio 13:00
[Q] M Llodra (FRA) vs [Q] S Giraldo (COL)

Non prima delle 15:00
[11] I Ljubicic (CRO) vs N Almagro (ESP)
[1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) vs P Cuevas (URU) / J Monaco (ARG) or J Benneteau (FRA) / J Chardy (FRA) – To Be Arranged

Posted in jeremy chardy, juan monaco, lleyton hewitt, mikhail youzhny, novak djokovic, rome | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

Barcelona: Tuesday’s Results, Wednesday’s OOP

Posted by gauloises1 on April 21, 2010

Further woe for the reduced field as seeds Juan Monaco and Albert Montanes were beaten, while Tommy Robredo trailed a set and a break before being forced to retire.But hey, Jeremy Chardy won a match. It’s not all bad.

Full Results

Singles – Second Round
[2] R Soderling (SWE) d J Chela (ARG) 75 75
[15] N Almagro (ESP) d S Greul (GER) 61 63
[LL] I Navarro (ESP) d [Q] P Cuevas (URU) 62 64

Singles – First Round
[Q] S Bolelli (ITA) d [9] T Robredo (ESP) 67(7) 64 31 ret. (back)
[Q] D Gimeno-Traver (ESP) d [10] J Monaco (ARG) 62 36 62
[11] J Melzer (AUT) d [LL] N Lapentti (ECU) 63 63
[12] L Hewitt (AUS) d [Q] M Ilhan (TUR) 64 46 62
J Chardy (FRA) d [14] A Montanes (ESP) 63 76(1)
[16] F Lopez (ESP) d O Dolgopolov Jr. (UKR) 63 30 ret. (illness)
[WC] A Martin (ESP) d A Seppi (ITA) 75 64
D Istomin (UZB) d S Robert (FRA) 76(5) 16 61
[Q] A Ramos-Vinolas (ESP) d M Russell (USA) 64 63
S Stakhovsky (UKR) d M Zverev (GER) 46 64 62
E Gulbis (LAT) d P Luczak (AUS) 76(4) 63
V Hanescu (ROU) d A Beck (GER) 61 62

Doubles – First Round
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / A Montanes (ESP) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 76(7) 63
T Bellucci (BRA) / H Zeballos (ARG) d M Granollers (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) 64 62

Today’s OOP is brought to you by Juan Monaco’s apparently ineffective warm-up routine …

… and the dubious pleasure of sitting on Nicolas Almagro’s lap.

Posted in barcelona, jeremy chardy, juan monaco, nicolas almagro, tommy robredo | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Further Adventures …

Posted by gauloises1 on April 14, 2010

Speaking of hot Tandilese, injured wrists and the inherent fail that arises when the two are combined … Pico will take at least two months out after Roland Garros to have surgery on a recurring left-wrist injury.

And yes, he will miss the Davis Cup quarterfinal against Russia.

This may make his straight-sets loss to Michael Berrer in Monte-Carlo today easier to understand, or it may not. Don’t look at me, I’m just the messenger.

Posted in davis cup, juan monaco, monte carlo | Tagged: | 12 Comments »

ATP Week Now: Monte Carlo

Posted by gauloises1 on April 13, 2010

Draw here.

Top seeds: Novak Djokovic, Rafael Nadal, Andy Murray, Marin Cilic, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Fernando Verdasco, Mikhail Youzhny, Ivan Ljubicic

The tournament’s already well underway (sorry), with a full day’s play producing no real upsets but a few heart/loinwarming results, notably courtesy of Nalby, Pico and Boss who all notched up straight sets wins:

Boss! What happened to your awesome conquistador beard?!

Tomas Berdych overcame the windy conditions for a good win against Feliciano Lopez, Gasquet battled to a three-set victory over Dolgopolov Jr. (or O-Dog, as I understand he’s known), and Thomaz Bellucci sadly fell to Philipp Kohlschreiber.

See you in Barcelona, Nose Job.

Full Results

Singles – First Round
[9] J Ferrero (ESP) d [Q] M Granollers (ESP) 60 63
[10] T Berdych (CZE) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 61
[11] D Ferrer (ESP) d [Q] P Luczak (AUS) 62 64
[14] J Monaco (ARG) d [Q] J Nieminen (FIN) 75 75
D Nalbandian (ARG) d A Beck (GER) 63 61
[WC] R Gasquet (FRA) d [Q] D Gimeno-Traver (ESP) 62 46 62
[Q] A Golubev (KAZ) d J Chardy (FRA) 62 76(2)
J Benneteau (FRA) d [Q] O Dolgopolov Jr. (UKR) 64 57 62
N Almagro (ESP) d S Greul (GER) 36 75 62
P Kohlschreiber (GER) d T Bellucci (BRA) 26 63 76(3)
E Gulbis (LAT) d M Chiudinelli (SUI) 63 62
P Petzschner (GER) d G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) 63 26 62
B Becker (GER) d [WC] B Tomic (AUS) 64 62

Doubles – First Round
N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) d T Bellucci (BRA) / A Montanes (ESP) 61 75
M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR) 63 36 10-3
[WC] R Hutchins (GBR) / A Murray (GBR) d F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 61 75

Today’s OOP brought to you by the best of British tennis.


COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[4] M Cilic (CRO) vs I Andreev (RUS)
J Benneteau (FRA) vs [6] F Verdasco (ESP)
[5] J Tsonga (FRA) vs N Almagro (ESP)
[10] T Berdych (CZE) vs [WC] R Gasquet (FRA)
P Kohlschreiber (GER) / R Lindstedt (SWE) vs N Almagro (ESP) / I Ljubicic (CRO)

COURT DES PRINCES start 10:30 am
[15] J Melzer (AUT) vs P Mathieu (FRA)
F Fognini (ITA) vs M Llodra (FRA)
V Troicki (SRB) vs L Kubot (POL)
A Montanes (ESP) vs [16] M Baghdatis (CYP)
[5] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Mirnyi (BLR) vs M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL)

COURT 2 start 11:30 am
F Serra (FRA) vs S Robert (FRA)
V Hanescu (ROU) vs [13] S Wawrinka (SUI)
M Cilic (CRO) / C Kas (GER) vs J Melzer (AUT) / M Youzhny (RUS) – After Suitable Rest

COURT 9 start 11:30 am
[Q] T de Bakker (NED) vs E Schwank (ARG)
[12] T Robredo (ESP) vs H Zeballos (ARG)

Posted in andy murray, ATP week ahead, david nalbandian, juan carlos ferrero, juan monaco, monte carlo, rafael nadal, ross hutchins, thomaz bellucci | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Miami: Monday’s Results, Tuesday’s OOP

Posted by gauloises1 on March 30, 2010

Full Results

Men’s Singles – Third Round
[1] R Federer (SUI) d F Serra (FRA) 76(2) 76(3)
[5] R Soderling (SWE) d P Petzschner (GER) 61 62
[7] M Cilic (CRO) d [25] M Baghdatis (CYP) 63 64
[9] F Gonzalez (CHI) d [22] J Monaco (ARG) 67(4) 64 62
[10] F Verdasco (ESP) d [23] J Melzer (AUT) 36 76(4) 61
[13] M Youzhny (RUS) d [19] S Wawrinka (SUI) 16 76(5) 75
[16] T Berdych (CZE) d H Zeballos (ARG) 64 75
M Fish (USA) d [29] F Lopez (ESP) 75 63

Women’s Singles – Fourth Round
[13] M Bartoli (FRA) d [1] S Kuznetsova (RUS) 63 60
[2] C Wozniacki (DEN) d [22] A Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) 62 62
[3] V Williams (USA) d [19] D Hantuchova (SVK) 16 75 64
[14] K Clijsters (BEL) d [4] V Azarenka (BLR) 64 60
[6] A Radwanska (POL) d Y Shvedova (KAZ) 61 64
[9] S Stosur (AUS) d [7] J Jankovic (SRB) 61 76(9)
[WC] J Henin (BEL) d [11] V Zvonareva (RUS) 61 64
[12] Y Wickmayer (BEL) d T Bacsinszky (SUI) 60 61

Men’s Doubles – Second Round
N Almagro (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) d [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) 46 62 10-5
[3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d T Bellucci (BRA) / M Lopez (ESP) 46 63 10-8
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d [6] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) 61 76(3)
A Clement (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) d [7] F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) 63 60

Women’s Doubles – Second Round
[4] L Raymond (USA) / R Stubbs (AUS) d L Dekmeijere (LAT) / P Schnyder (SUI) 26 75 10-7
[8] E Makarova (RUS) / S Peng (CHN) d K Peschke (CZE) / K Srebotnik (SLO) 64 63

Today’s OOP is brought to you by Pico and the art of stretchy, flamboyant despair.

Order of Play

STADIUM start 11:00 am
[[8] J Tsonga (FRA) vs [12] J Ferrero (ESP) – ATP

Not Before 1:00 PM
[3] V Williams (USA) vs [6] A Radwanska (POL) – WTA
[6] A Roddick (USA) vs B Becker (GER) – ATP
[15] D Ferrer (ESP) vs [4] R Nadal (ESP) – ATP

Not Before 7:00 PM
[13] M Bartoli (FRA) vs [12] Y Wickmayer (BEL) – WTA

Not Before 9:00 PM
[1] R Federer (SUI) vs [16] T Berdych (CZE) – ATP

GRANDSTAND start 11:00 am
[33] N Almagro (ESP) vs [27] T Bellucci (BRA) – ATP
M Fish (USA) vs [13] M Youzhny (RUS) – ATP
[9] F Gonzalez (CHI) or [22] J Monaco (ARG) vs [5] R Soderling (SWE) – ATP
[10] F Verdasco (ESP) or [23] J Melzer (AUT) vs [7] M Cilic (CRO) – ATP

COURT 1 start 3:00 pm
[8] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) vs I Andreev (RUS) / M Youzhny (RUS) – After suitable rest
M Kirilenko (RUS) / A Radwanska (POL) vs G Dulko (ARG) / F Pennetta (ITA) – After suitable rest

COURT 2 start 11:00 am
J Isner (USA) / S Querrey (USA) vs [4] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Mirnyi (BLR) – ATP
[5] A Kleybanova (RUS) / F Schiavone (ITA) vs [4] L Raymond (USA) / R Stubbs (AUS) – WTA
[3] N Petrova (RUS) / S Stosur (AUS) vs J Coin (FRA) / V King (USA) – WTA
E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) vs [2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) – ATP
M Damm (CZE) / F Polasek (SVK) vs B Becker (GER) / M Kohlmann (GER) – ATP

Posted in jelena jankovic, juan monaco, miami | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Indian Wells: Pico But Not Boss

Posted by gauloises1 on March 16, 2010

In a mildly surprising result in the section of the draw left vacant by Marin Cilic’s unaccountable sucking and failing (not so much over it as I may have implied), Pico took on Boss in their third match of 2010 and came out the victor from a gruelling contest that lasted over three hours, 76(2) 36 63.

Still bloody awesome.

I couldn’t find any pictures of Pico from today’s match that were sufficiently worth right-clicking, so have this one instead.


Posted in indian wells, juan carlos ferrero, juan monaco | Tagged: , | 3 Comments »

D Cup: Pico Out, Delbo In. Not a Typo.

Posted by gauloises1 on March 1, 2010

So, as I mentioned in a previous post, Juan Monaco injured what looked like an intercostal muscle during his semi-final match against Juan Carlos Ferrero in Acapulco on Friday. He is as a consequence out of a Davis Cup squad already lacking del Potro and Nalbandian and facing a tie against the nation of Robin Soderling. Even seeing him get a shirtless massage doesn’t make up for that.

So who are Argentina sending in his place in what is increasingly a suicide mission to Sweden? Step forth, Federico Del Bonis. Your time has come.

Delbo is nineteen years old, left-handed and, according to a tennistical expert of my acquaintance, ‘kind of looks like a handsomer Nose Job’. Leaving aside the fact that there is no such thing as a handsomer Nose Job, Del Bonis is currently ranked 211 in the world with a career high of 195, has won two Challenger titles and a Futures, is currently 1 for 6 in 2010, and has played just one ATP main draw match in his young life (against Wawrinka in Gstad). He lost it.

Still, I’m sure it’ll go well.

Posted in davis cup, federico del bonis, juan monaco | Tagged: , | 8 Comments »