Pico Gets Pimback’d, Boss Goes All Baggy, Kolya KO’ed

Sad day in Stockholm today, as Pico became the latest (and prettiest) victim of the Pimback, falling 64 64 to the skeletal one.

As if that wasn’t enough, Boss – who seems to be on a mission to ensure that he’s well-rested for the Davis Cup final he now won’t be picked for – went down to Baggy, 64 62. There’s really nothing good about this, except the opportunity for brooding Bossitude.

If looks could kill. Good looks, that is. BAM!

If Baggy starts running now, he might make it all the way down the street before his doom finds him.

However, Nose Job did beat Horseface in three sets which I’m choosing to believe were epic, and Robin Soderling and his newly-discovered dainty off-hand beat Giovanni Lapentti 63 60.

I think the vicar just said something mildly shocking and yet titillating. That’s what I’m getting from this hand.

In Moscow, the only real event of interest was Marat Safin taking out Nikolay Davydenko in three sets. I only saw the last set and thought Kolya looked a little tired, but Marat was playing well. And that’s all I have on that.

Moscow

Singles – Second Round
[3] M Youzhny (RUS) d P Starace (ITA) 61 61
[5] P Cuevas (URU) d T Gabashvili (RUS) 36 61 64
[Q] S Stakhovsky (UKR) d [7] F Santoro (FRA) 75 61

Singles – First Round
M Safin (RUS) d [1] N Davydenko (RUS) 46 64 62
[Q] I Marchenko (UKR) d D Istomin (UZB) 16 64 41 ret. (throat infection)
E Korolev (RUS) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 76(6) 63

Doubles – Quarter-finals
[2] E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) / H Zeballos (ARG) 64 75

Doubles – First Round
[3] P Cuevas (URU) / M Granollers (ESP) d L Friedl (CZE) / J Levinsky (CZE) 63 36 10-6
K Beck (SVK) / F Polasek (SVK) d S Lipsky (USA) / R Wassen (NED) 16 64 10-6
R Bopanna (IND) / J Tipsarevic (SRB) d J Cerretani (USA) / V Hanescu (ROU) 76(2) 62
I Andreev (RUS) / D Koellerer (AUT) d [WC] T Gabashvili (RUS) / A Manegin (RUS) 46 62 10-3

Stockholm

Singles – Second Round
[WC] J Johansson (SWE) d [4] J Monaco (ARG) 64 64
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) d S Greul (GER) 63 75
T Bellucci (BRA) d L Mayer (ARG) 75 36 63

Singles – First Round
[1] R Soderling (SWE) d [LL] G Lapentti (ECU) 63 60
[2] T Haas (GER) d F Serra (FRA) 63 64
M Baghdatis (CYP) d [3] J Ferrero (ESP) 64 62
[8] F Lopez (ESP) d E Gulbis (LAT) 62 64 

Doubles – First Round
[2] S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d S Greul (GER) / A Seppi (ITA) 64 61
A Beck (GER) / C Kas (GER) d R Kendrick (USA) / L Mayer (ARG) 64 16 10-8
A Clement (FRA) / R Lindstedt (SWE) d J Brunstrom (SWE) / J Rojer (AHO) 64 64

Shanghai: Gonzo, Ferru, Nose Job, Marat Through

Sudden flurries of tennistical activity in Shanghai! All four seeds made it through today; sadly in one case it came at the expense of Boss, as Steps beat him 63 60 in a result that made me sad – especially as Gonzo was looking a bit wobbly against Zverev. Fortunately, for me if not for Zverev, the German was forced to retire at 2-2 in the third, so Gonzo lives to pitch fits another day.

Robredo dispatched of Michael Llodra easily enough, and Ferru sent girl-kisser Gasquet home in straights. Their head-to-head is now 5-1 in favour of Ferru, if you were wondering.

Diagonal badassery. The hardest kind.

In less seedy news, Wawrinka took three sets to subdue zombie Kubot, but cut off the head and/or removed the brain in a third-set tiebreak. Ernie fell to fellow qualifier Fabio Fognini, and Nose Job put out Chiudinelli in straights. Blake beat Karlovic in three sets to set up a Beijing rematch with Nadal, and Marat won another match in what is getting to be a mildly pleasing habit.

“Marat Just Be Yourself”?

Surely that’s the last thing you want him to do.

Singles – First Round
[10] F Gonzalez (CHI) d M Zverev (GER) 75 67(0) 22 ret. (right wrist)
[13] R Stepanek (CZE) d J Ferrero (ESP) 63 60
[14] T Robredo (ESP) d [Q] M Llodra (FRA) 61 64
[16] D Ferrer (ESP) d R Gasquet (FRA) 64 63
J Blake (USA) d I Karlovic (CRO) 36 76(4) 63
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d [WC] M Gong (CHN) 64 64
S Wawrinka (SUI) [Q] L Kubot (POL) 26 76(5) 76(3)
[Q] F Mayer (GER) d P Petzschner (GER) 63 62
[Q] R Schuettler (GER) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 64 36 76(2)
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d [WC] E Gulbis (LAT) 76(3) 63
[Q] T Bellucci (BRA) d [Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) 76(3) 64

Doubles – First Round
S Aspelin (SWE) / P Hanley (AUS) d J Coetzee (RSA) / S Huss (AUS) 46 63 11-9
F Cermak (CZE) / M Mertinak (SVK) d M Damm (CZE) / R Lindstedt (SWE) 46 76(4) 11-9
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d J Monaco (ARG) / T Robredo (ESP) 75 76(5)
B Becker (GER) / T Haas (GER) d [WC] Z Li (CHN) / Y Wang (CHN) 76(5) 60

Marat Loses, Gets Creepy Stalker Collage

Video of Marat’s goodbye ceremony after losing to Rafa in Beijing – featuring Rafa, Nole and Dinara:

Beijing: Who Are You and What Have You Done With the Real Marat Safin?

Something weird is happening, people, because Marat Safin won another match, knocking out Gonzo in straights to advance to a meeting with Nadal in the quarterfinals.

Does anybody else think that’s weird? And does this answer sound anything like Marat to you?

Q: Any extra motivation to play Nadal tomorrow knowing there may be fewer chances to play one of the best right now?

A: I know I will play better tomorrow. Nadal is going to be the favorite. I have no pressure; I’m just going to play my game, go for it, be aggressive and then we’ll see. It’s going to be my biggest match in a long time so I’m pretty excited.

Has he had a lobotomy or something? Not that it would be either premature or superfluous if he had. Anyway, Nadal dropped a set to Blake, which confuses me slightly. Perhaps the reports that Blake has dropped long-time coach Bob or Bill or Brian Barker for new blood are true and he’s having that coach-switch bump some people get. Still, Nadal came through in three.

Elsewhere, Ljubicic took three sets to subdue Lukasz Kubot – zombie kill of the week, anyone? – and Soderling rolled over Robredo 63 63. So the Beijing quarterfinals will be Nadal-Safin, Davydenko-Cilic (nice knowing you, Marin), Soderling-Ljubicic, and Djokovic-Verdasco (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOLE, PLEASE WIN). Not bad.

Singles – Second Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d J Blake (USA) 75 67(4) 63
[6] R Soderling (SWE) d T Robredo (ESP) 63 63
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d [7] F Gonzalez (CHI) 63 64
I Ljubicic (CRO) d [Q] L Kubot (POL) 76(6) 46 64

Doubles – Quarter-finals
[2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d N Davydenko (RUS) / I Kunitsyn (RUS) 76(3) 75
L Dlouhy (CZE) / P Kohlschreiber (GER) d L Kubot (POL) / O Marach (AUT) 63 64
J Benneteau (FRA) / J Chardy (FRA) d J Blake (USA) / A Ram (ISR) 57 64 10-4

Beijing: Marat Actually Shows Up, Roddick Doesn’t

So don’t look now, but Marat actually won a match to liven up his farewell tour of failure. He beat Chucho, 64 62. I’m confused by this.

Charging headlong into history.

In other, equally odd news, Roddick lost in straight sets to zombie Kubot. I actually watched this match and I still don’t know what’s up with that. Roddick cited a possible lack of preparation afterwards, but given that he still hasn’t actually qualified for the WTFs, he doesn’t want another blip like this next week.

Other than that, all the top seeds – Rafa, Kolya, Verdasco, Soderling, Gonzo – got through, although oddly only Gonzo who perhaps had the most difficult match (against Ferru) managed it in straights. I’m not sure what was up with Rafa dropping a set to Marcos Baghdatis, but there you are.

“And for my next trick, I shall make my potential disappear. Watch carefully.”

I’m even less sure what’s up with Rafa’s outfit.

Could these shorts be uglier?

Singles – First Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d [WC] M Baghdatis (CYP) 64 36 64
[Q] L Kubot (POL) d [3] A Roddick (USA) 62 64
[4] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 61 67(6) 62
[5] F Verdasco (ESP) d [Q] R Ginepri (USA) 67(7) 61 62
[6] R Soderling (SWE) d J Chardy (FRA) 63 46 62
[7] F Gonzalez (CHI) d D Ferrer (ESP) 75 64
[WC] M Safin (RUS) d J Acasuso (ARG) 64 62
J Blake (USA) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 63 36 63
I Ljubicic (CRO) d P Mathieu (FRA) 76(8) 46 61
V Troicki (SRB) d [Q] F Fognini (ITA) 76(5) 75

Doubles – First Round
J Acasuso (ARG) / F Gonzalez (CHI) d [1] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) 67(7) 63 10-3
[2] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) d B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) 61 76(11)
L Kubot (POL) / O Marach (AUT) d M Llodra (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) 61 61

Bangkok: Bish Bash Bosh

So what was the craic in Bangkok today? Well, I only saw the first set of the Tsonga-Gulbis match, and that honestly was enough power tennis to last for about a year.

Gulbis actually won the first set 7-3 in the tiebreak, but the margins were so narrow between the two. It’s so odd whenever I get the chance to see Ernie play these days. He really seems to have no concept of playing anything other than flat out and hitting the ball as hard as he can (Tsonga obviously being no slouch in that department either). It was spectacular stuff and the crowd were lapping it up, which was great to see – the Bangkok crowds seem so into their tennis. And yet oddly I had no doubt whatsoever that I would come home to find that Jo had won in three. I just don’t know what to think about Ernie, really. Do you think that he needs to add more dimensions to his game, learn to play more strategically, or is it simply a case of executing his current WHAM! BAM! KABLAMMO! game more consistently? Answers on a postcard. He has such talent.

Anyway, have a picture of Jo looking pretty.

Quarterfinals it is then for the defending champion. Joining him there is second seed Gilles Simon, who’ll face Evgeny Korolev; eighth seed John Isner, who’s taking on Viktor Troicki (bit of a shock for Viktor, who’ll essentially be facing himself but much much taller), and Jurgen Melzer and Andreas Beck. Yawn. As for Jo, he’ll face Marco Chiudinelli after the latter beat Marat Safin (no stranger to WHAM! BAM! KABLAMMO! tennis himself).

Aaaand the Marat Safin Farewell Tour of Failure rolls on. Well done to Chiudinelli though, who I’ve suddenly become aware of.

Singles – Second Round
[1] J Tsonga (FRA) d E Gulbis (LAT) 67(3) 76(4) 76(2)
[2] G Simon (FRA) d K Kim (USA) 62 62
[8] J Isner (USA) d M Zverev (GER) 76(5) 64
A Beck (GER) d [LL] D Young (USA) 61 67(3) 64
[Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) d M Safin (RUS) 63 76(4)
E Korolev (RUS) d R Ginepri (USA) 61 61

Doubles – Quarter-finals
[3] J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d M Kohlmann (GER) / A Peya (AUT) 62 46 10-3
E Butorac (USA) / R Ram (USA) d R Hutchins (GBR) / H Tecau (ROU) 26 64 10-6
G Garcia-Lopez (ESP) / M Zverev (GER) d M Safin (RUS) / G Simon (FRA) 62 63
F Santoro (FRA) / J Tsonga (FRA) d B Becker (GER) / L Mayer (ARG) 57 61 10-6

Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur: We Have a Pimback On Our Hands

Now everybody’s bloody doing it. Joachim Johansson played his first ATP tour-level match for nearly a year and he only went and knocked out eighth seed Lleyton Hewitt in straight sets. Madness. Other nuttiness included Feliciano Lopez falling to Martin Vassallo Arguello of Argentina in a result that made me all warm and fuzzy inside, and David Ferrer losing to Mikhail Youzhny. Youzhny attributed his victory to being used to the conditions. Hmmm. Maybe Ferru just wanted to get the hell out of there before they could make him wear one of those shirts. Oh, and Berdych won.

In Bangkok, more madness as the boy(s) least likely to actually won a match …

… but Marcos Daniel lost. Boo to you, Jurgen Melzer.

Bangkok

Singles – First Round
M Safin (RUS) d [5] P Petzschner (GER) 62 36 61
[6] J Melzer (AUT) d M Daniel (BRA) 63 62
E Korolev (RUS) d [7] F Santoro (FRA) 46 76(4) 76(7) – Saved 2 M.P.
[Q] M Ilhan (TUR) d B Becker (GER) 46 76(4) 63
A Beck (GER) d [Q] E Roger-Vasselin (FRA) 75 76(1)
[Q] M Chiudinelli (SUI) d [Q] F Mayer (GER) 63 63
E Gulbis (LAT) d [WC] S Devvarman (IND) 76(7) 62
R Ginepri (USA) d [WC] D Udomchoke (THA) 64 63

Doubles – First Round
[3] J Knowle (AUT) / J Melzer (AUT) d T Bellucci (BRA) / M Daniel (BRA) 75 57 10-2
R Hutchins (GBR) / H Tecau (ROU) d C Kas (GER) / V Troicki (SRB) 46 63 10-5

Kuala Lumpur

Singles – First Round
[6] T Berdych (CZE) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 61 36 62
M Youzhny (RUS) d [7] D Ferrer (ESP) 76(3) 62
[WC] J Johansson (SWE) d [8] L Hewitt (AUS) 76(7) 63
M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) d F Lopez (ESP) 63 63
[Q] R Bopanna (IND) d J Acasuso (ARG) 46 63 64
K Beck (SVK) d [Q] M Kukushkin (KAZ) 16 76(4) 63

Doubles – First Round
[1] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d J Cerretani (USA) / R Wassen (NED) 75 75
I Kunitsyn (RUS) / J Levinsky (CZE) d K Beck (SVK) / J Kerr (AUS) 62 64
A Golubev (KAZ) / D Istomin (UZB) d J Acasuso (ARG) / F Gonzalez (CHI) 63 61

USO Day Three: Marat Bows Out. Again.

To borrow a phrase from Nancy, this seriously has been the most fucking miserable farewell tour ever. Thank god it’s coming to an end, I can’t watch someone who doesn’t want to be out there.

Anyway, Marat lost to Jurgen Melzer, 16 64 63 64. It was your basic Safin performance; a brilliant first set, just to remind all concerned of former glories, then a sudden yet prolonged implosion. I offer picspam to honour his final U.S. Open. It’s basically everything you need to know about his career.

See ya, Marat.

Hitting the Nail on the HEAD

Montreal: Monfils Through, Marin Malingers

Well, not so much “malingers” as “loses”. He went down to Mikhail Youzhny, 46 76(4) 61.

And this was a truly pathetic loss. He wasn’t playing great in the first two sets, but after losing the second – which there was, incidentally, really no excuse for – he simply imploded in the third. It was dreadful. Be ashamed, Marin.

There was, however, a ray of sunshine in the Bambi-Marat match. Marat played a first set so awful it made Marin’s third set pale into insignificance.

Whatever.

But the second and third sets were full of really fun points; some dreadful errors, but some high quality tennis too. And Bambi came through in the end, taking the match 62 in the third after going down a break. Now that’s tennistical style.

Stoked for Bambi, whose inimitable style I’ve rather missed. Oh, and when signing the camera after the match, Bambi wrote “RIP Mat” on the lens for Montcourt … nice touch, I thought.

Full results to come when I wake up to them.